Carnelian Chronicles

Hello! Long Time No Blog

2011-05-20T09:18:00.000-05:00

Hey everybody :) How are you all? I've been absent for a really long time over here. I run several blogs and until recently they were under many different accounts, which was becoming increasingly frustrating and difficult. I found I would focus on one blog for a while and neglect the others (you know, like this one). To fix this, I've imported my blogs to one main account. Right now Carnelian Chronicles is under major construction so it's not up yet but I have a few others you may be interested in. You can find me below!

The Conscious Family - where I talk about my home life, being a mom, going green, fixing up our old home
78 Mirrors - where I blog about tarot and only tarot, right now I'm doing a PDR with Shadowscapes

Carnelian Chronicles will be up and running shortly. I miss you all! Come visit and I can start following you on my new account. Thank you!

A Birth Story in Pictures

2010-11-05T12:41:00.000-06:00

Since it's been so long since I posted and there is oh-so-much to say, I figured I could make at least part of the story easier to tell through pictures.

My water broke at 2:30 AM and my contractions started fifteen minutes later. They were three minutes apart within an hour and only got more intense as time went on. I labored at home for ten hours with the support of my midwife, doula, sister and amazing husband.

I pushed for three hours. Laboring was the hardest thing I have ever done but it was an amazing, beautiful rite of passage and I learned so much about myself.

Scarlett Elizabeth was born at 8:02 PM. She was immediately brought to my chest for skin to skin contact and we were able to stay like that for two glorious hours. She weighed 6 pounds 5 ounces and was 21 inches long.

My husband was home on leave from his deployment and we were worried I would go so far past my due date that he'd miss the birth. Our little lady knew better and came two days before he due date so he had two whole weeks with us.

She is such an easy-going baby. We are absolutely in love with her! The first night my husband stayed up with her all night, walking her around the room while he explained anything and everything to her, from the ocean to the desert to the concept of friends. She's got him wrapped around her little finger.

Here's the happy little family!

On Deciding to Get Pregnant: Emotionally

2010-05-29T08:26:00.002-05:00

Many pregnancies are unplanned. You always hear stories about couples who get married and unintentionally get pregnant, or aren't trying but aren't preventing, or birth control failures. You hear about women who get pregnant unexpectedly and their partners leave them, or aren't supportive, because they weren't ready. This is not that kind of post. This is for women (and men!) who plan for pregnancy, who know in their hearts when is the right time to have children, and prepare their bodies physically for doing so. If you have ever done this, or ever want to, I hope to address some of the spiritual, and/or Pagan, aspects of this incredible journey.

As I discussed before, my husband and I made the decision to try to conceive (TTC) back in November. We spent a lot of time discussing what our lives would be like when we had a family. We talked about how we wanted to raise our kids. When still do not agree on everything, but at least we know what sort of compromises to expect. This is a huge step and I do not suggest anyone skip it. One thing my husband and I did not do was talk about our immediate decisions: child birthing options, how we would handle the first year, our beliefs on vaccinations and circumcision. I wish we had hammered these issues out before I was pregnant! We spent so much time thinking about how we'd raise our kids when they were older and none on the first few years. We have had more than one heated discussion because of this lack of foresight.

Being prepared in this way will help prevent a lot of emotional upheavals during your pregnancy. When your hormones are racing, the last thing you need is a huge "be all, end all" discussion with your partner about what you think is right for your kids. I've found that my emotions are very much tied with my spirituality. To have a healthy relationship with deity, with the Earth, I've found that I need to be stable emotionally. Although this may be different for other people, I find that to be sure of my place in the world, I need to be sure of myself. Whether or not I am sure of myself changes frequently. I've realized that I don't have to be "complete" as a person to be sure of myself. Knowing that I am incomplete, or imperfect, actually makes me more sure of myself. It's important to get a handle on this before becoming pregnant, as it's often difficult to maintain this feeling, let alone find it in the first place.

A good emotional state is important for not only you during pregnancy, but for your unborn child as well. Babies do feel the same emotions you experience. It takes a bit longer for these things to reach them, but raised heart rates is only one of the recorded side effects on unborn babies after their mothers experience periods of stress or unhappiness. To ensure you have a happy, healthy pregnancy, getting a handle on your emotions is a major building block. Being in control emotionally can also help you conceive in the first place. For couples dealing with infertility or difficulty TTC, a major emotional overhaul is sometimes needed. Work with deity or a counselor if you are having a difficult time with this one before you TTC; it will help tremendously!

Way Cool

2010-05-20T21:25:00.000-05:00

My 14-year-old sister started her very own tarot blog. If anyone would like to support her in her new Blogger and tarot journey, she can be found at Tarot. Enjoy!

Fertility and Miscarriage

2010-05-20T06:12:00.000-05:00

As promised, I'm going to start a series about fertility and pregnancy. These topics are of an incredible interest to me. I found it increasingly difficult to find things of a Pagan nature that could help me make my time both before pregnancy, during the planning stages, and once I become pregnant, more spiritual. I'm going to share the things I've learned and hope that this reaches someone who needs it as much as I did (and do).

My husband and I very much planned this pregnancy. A bit over a year ago, I had a miscarriage and I was completely devastated. My husband also felt the heavy affects. We decided that we were going to try for another immediately. I did everything I could to increase my chances of fertility. After a month or two, we decided that since it hadn't happened yet, it may be a sign that we weren't ready. We decided to wait for a few years before trying again. It was the best thing for our lives at the time.

Back in November we started discussing having children again. With my husband's upcoming deployment, we weren't sure that now was a good time. But as we got further along in our home buying process, we started to consider it very heavily. It was something we both wanted, but were holding back because we were concerned it wasn't the "right" time. And with only a few months before he left, the chances of us conceiving seemed slim. After agonizing over the decision for some time, we decided to just go for it. With our upcoming home purchase, we'd have enough room for a baby. We'd be more financially stable than ever. And really, with as sappy as I am, all it took was for him to tell me "I want you to be the mother of my children." Let's get a big round of "Aww".

I started searching for everything I could about fertility. Being a young, healthy woman, you might not think this would be an issue for me. But when I was 20 I had been diagnosed with pre-cervical cancer and had to go through a few procedures. After a few months was told that I needed to undergo a more extensive, painful procedure and I backed out. I don't know why I did this, and looking back, it was probably the stupidest decision I've made in my life. I joined the Army, pretended nothing happened, and just lived my life. I had an exam six months later and they found nothing. The issue had resolved itself. Stupid as that decision may have been, it was clearly the right one for me. Sometimes that happens :) But I was told that with my history, I had a higher likelihood to go through something like that again and having a difficult time conceiving. And although I had conceived a year before, my body knew the baby wasn't viable and didn't allow for growth.

With this in mind, I was convinced my body was not right for baby makin'. This mind-set seems to come with miscarriages. Several of my friends are convinced that because they've experienced one, or more than one, that means they are not meant to have children. I think this is a natural reaction to a miscarriage in our society. I never grew up with any sort of knowledge of miscarriages, or how common they actually are. In reality, it is estimated that virtually every woman will experience an early pregnancy loss in her lifetime. Why is this and why don't we know more about this? For one, many early pregnancy losses are confused as late, heavy periods. Many women do not even know they are pregnant when they experience a miscarriage and it's so early that the symptoms are no more than a heavy period. So few women track their cycles that this is actually very common. Another reason we don't know much about miscarriages is that when a woman experiences one, she does not always feel comfortable expressing her loss to other people. If her pregnancy was still unknown to those around her, she may not tell about it at all, now that it's gone. I think this stems from "old" views about women not being worth anything if they couldn't carry children. And for women who want a baby very much, it is often too difficult for them to express how disappointed they really are.

I found that with my miscarriage, I stopped thinking about my spirituality at all. I had other things on my mind and my beliefs were pushed to the back. I wish I had embraced my spirituality at this time, instead of reject it. When I finally came to terms with my miscarriage, I saw a huge surge of "faith" in my life. I realized that miscarriages are natural. They are a part of the cycle of life and death. I learned that my body was capable of truly amazing things. And although I still felt doubts about my abilities to carry children to full-term, I had no doubt that things happened for a reason, and that I may not always understand the reasoning, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. When I started to understand my miscarriage, I realized that my husband and I were not ready for a baby at the time. I was not ready. In my mind, it was a terrible thing to happen to me. Once I got used to it, it became an exciting thing, but I did not want to start out like that. I wanted something more for my husband and myself. I didn't want us to have to get ready for a baby out of necessity, I wanted us to prepare for it, plan how and when we wanted it. And the type of miscarriage I had indicated there was something wrong with the baby itself that would have caused it to not be viable. That my body could recognize that, and stop the process of life in order to save both myself and the baby from a terrible, painful loss later on, is truly incredible.

Once I realized that my body was a beautiful, miraculous thing that was capable of some incredible feats, I came to terms with my miscarriage. I came to terms with the gods, or nature, or both, and stopped being so angry. This process took a long time, and maybe that's normal. But I realized that my spirituality was stronger in the end, and that I could appreciate what the gods had given me. After my miscarriage, my periods became cyclical. I either had never had normal periods or had not paid enough attention to know the difference. I became more aware of my body, and the moon's affect on me. Like clockwork, I could expect my period with the new moon. My periods became a sacred time for me. What a beautiful thing, to spend time with the crone when I shed that lining. I was finding that there were blessings buried under the "curse" of miscarriage.

I realize that this post became more of a narrative than informative one but I guess that's how life is. Next time I will be discussing fertility more in depth, how to embrace fertility as a Pagan and a simple spell I did to declare my intent of becoming pregnant to the gods. I hope someone can find some use out of this and future posts.

Satan Told Me Not to Cook Dinner

2010-05-19T10:47:00.000-05:00

I try not to poke too much fun at the Christians but I just have to post this.

78 Mirrors: Using Tarot on the Path to Personal Enlightenment

2010-05-17T21:02:00.003-05:00

Hello all! In light of my recent re-dedication to learning the tarot in depth, I've decided to make a second blog that will deal exclusively with my tarot studies. I've found that my main interest over here, for the time being, lies with pregnancy as related to spirituality and I have a ton of posts brewing discussing just that. I have been using the tarot more frequently in my life and I wanted to make a special place for posting about my journey with the cards. So without further ado, I introduce to you:

Tarot Art Nouveau

2010-05-12T09:56:00.001-05:00

I have coveted this deck for so long. Art nouveau style has a place in my heart and when I saw this deck, I knew it was the one for me. I have looked for decks that I thought were pretty for a very long time. Not many fit the requirement. There are interesting decks, colorful decks, decks full of easy to understand symbols. I rarely look at a deck and think "Wow, that is gorgeous." The two decks I've found that I really thought fit the bill are the Shadowscapes Tarot (which I just placed an order for through Amazon!) and Tarot Art Nouveau.

I found this beautiful deck at a Pagan book store in Kansas City, MO. I knew immediately I was going to buy it, after having wanted it for so long. Upon getting into my car, I opened the deck and couldn't have been happier with my purchase. Beautiful lines grace every card. The colors are very soft. The characters on each card are the only ones I've yet to see in tarot that I actually thought "What a lovely person". There are flowers on each and every card. There are mostly women in this deck. There is a lot of nudity and a few scenes of passion, including scenes between women. My only complaint about the style of this deck is that the characters in each card are not interacting with their suits, like most Rider-Waite style decks do. This is merely a personal preference and not even important in terms of doing readings.

When I did my initial interview spread with this deck, I got the impression that while this deck will show me beauty, and show me things in a different light than my typical Rider-Waite style decks, it is not a deck from which I will get strong answers. It will be more interpretive than any other deck I own. I will have to use my intuition much more, which will be great practice for me. I do not recommend this deck for the new reader. For an advanced reader though, I think this deck makes a lovely addition to any collection and is a must have for fans of art nouveau and someone who is looking for a deck that stands out.

I expect my Shadowscapes deck to come in tomorrow so keep an eye out for another review!

Some Thoughts on Pregnancy

2010-05-11T21:08:00.000-05:00

So much time has passed since my last post. I had really wanted to keep up with regular updates but things have been too busy here. My husband has left the country, I've started a job, my 14-year-old sister has come to live with me, owning a home has proven to be a lot of work and I'm very involved with my husband's family who all live up here. Life is good for the most part though :) This picture was taken at 18 weeks. Tomorrow I will be 21 weeks, a full five months pregnant. I've made it half-way through this pregnancy! I couldn't be happier with the way things have been going in that department.

Last week Thursday I had my second trimester and gender determination ultrasound. Above is a cute little profile picture.

And a wee foot!

And the ultrasound tech did a few 3d pictures for us, which were a lot of fun. This is our little baby's face with the cutest nose I've ever seen. The tech asked me if I had any names picked out. I said "We have a boy's name, it's Jonathon Connor," and she said "Well you're going to have to find a name for this baby because it's a girl!"

I started to feel her movements at 18 weeks 2 days. At first it was little flutters, like popcorn popping in my belly. The first day, a Friday, I felt it about four or five times and I wasn't entirely sure it was the baby; it almost feels like gas. I didn't notice it again until Sunday. On Monday I was certain it was the baby and her movements started to get stronger. I feel her best in the mornings, while laying on my back--how much longer I can do this, I have no idea. I haven't gained much weight yet, I can still fit into all my jeans. Shirts are another thing altogether though! She moves a lot when I listen to music but will lay perfectly still when I read to her. What am I reading to her, you might ask. Why, Harry Potter of course! What else?

I'm thinking about doing a series on fertility, getting pregnant, and pregnancy. It's something I've been interested in for a long time, especially now, and particularly in a spiritual context. More on that later, it's getting pretty late. I would love to get back into the swing of things here on Blogger but I have no idea how likely that actually is with all that's going on. Either way, I miss you all, think of you often, and will visit when I can!

Hello Out There!

2010-03-15T08:06:00.000-06:00

Wow. I cannot believe so much time has passed. I have been very a busy bee. I hate to admit that I haven't been able to follow blogs the way I was during my official hiatus (as opposed to this very unofficial and abrupt hiatus). So much going on over here. I am sitting in our new (to us, it's actually quiet old) home. We are loving this house. And learning to love all the work that comes with it. Why no one told us how much work comes with owning a home, I will never know. But it is a lot of work! Especially when you bought a house built in 1928! We've had to call in our home warranty twice now for plumbing issues. Don't let that fool you into thinking we've only had two plumbing issues though. My husband has spent many a weekend working on leaky sinks. This house is COLD! No curtains yet, no doors to the basement or attic (really genius on the part of the previous owners, let me tell you). We got our heating bill for 16 days and I almost cried. $160. Yes, you heard me right. $160 for 16 days of heating this big house. Wow. Thank goodness this Winter is almost over. And just as soon as you start working on something minor, it pretty much instantly becomes a major problem. Wowza.

But we are so in love with some things in this house that it's all worth it. Like our giant walk-in shower with two shower heads (FINALLY a shower big enough for both my husband and myself to shower at the same time!) And although it's rather inefficient, I cannot complain about the 80 gallon water heater that allows me to take the best showers I've ever taken. The fact that when you turn down our street, we have the biggest, prettiest house in sight. I absolutely adore my office. The wood floors and original wood work throughout the house. All this room to expand in! Creaky stairs. Character, charm. I love it. We are so happy here. I hope we never leave :) We plan on having our wedding ceremony here and giving birth to our children here.

Speaking of children, my little bean is coming right along. I'll be 13 weeks on Wednesday! Finally in the second trimester! My all-day sickness has been replaced by an insatiable appetite. I feel great. I chose my midwife and had my first appointment. She is fantastic. She's also pregnant (how cute!) I heard the little heartbeat for the first time. There is nothing better than that. Seeing it was great but actually hearing it, knowing what it really sounds like, that tops the cake. I haven't officially started showing yet but I am carrying more weight in my midsection. Some people seem to confuse this with showing but this is not the case. This early, your uterus is barely peeking out above your pelvic bone so it's not causing a lot of change yet.

Well lovely friends, I'm off to attempt to catch up with everyone's blogs. Oh and meet the plumber who's supposed to be fixing our newest plumbing problems :) I have missed you all. I truly hope this update is just the start of many more frequent blogs to come but we shall see. So much going on here, it's crazy! See you soon I hope!

Our Happy Day

2010-02-03T12:42:00.000-06:00

So this morning we went to our first appointment and were told it's only an educational consultation. We had to beg them to do an ultrasound because my husband is deploying and won't be able to come to any other appointments. The lady said we probably wouldn't be able to see much but that they'd go ahead and try. They picked up a picture immediately. There's a strong, fast, tiny heartbeat :) Hubs is scanning our other pictures but here's a sneak peak! I'll have another belly picture up tonight as well.

We also got word on our appraisal and it went really well! Looks like we're set to close on our house February 11th! Very happy day for us :)

Hope you all had a lovely Imbolc!

My How Time Flies When You're Nauseous

2010-02-02T13:33:00.000-06:00

I could probably spend all day talking about how sick I am but I'd prefer not to. I'm sorry I've been absent from both posting and commenting on your blogs. I have been reading, I just honestly don't always have a lot of energy and things that require even minimal effort have been pushed aside for the time being. I've been told that this phase will likely end in, oh, about five weeks. That doesn't actually seem all that comforting, believe it or not.

Despite my best effort to prepare for Imbolc, it definitely snuck up on me. I had intended on making a nice meal to celebrate but if my record of preparing dinner in the past two weeks is any indication, that will not be happening tonight. I do have my office, which is my personal worship space, in great working order (all of our house guests have left! We have the house to ourselves again!) so tonight I think I'll just spend some time in there, reflecting on this turn of the wheel and what it's bringing for my life. I'd also like to spend time cleaning my tools and packing them away for the BIG MOVE (which, if everything goes well, is scheduled for next week!) I wish everyone a blessed Imbolc and I hope you're not nearly as sick as I am!

To all my lovely friends in the Silver Moon Society, I have Week 7 of the tarot study up if you're interested in checking it out :)

Oh and tomorrow is my first appointment. My husband got time off work to come and we're hoping to hear a heartbeat since this will be the only appointment he gets to attend before deploying. I'm not nervous yet but I'm sure I will be tomorrow when we get to the office. Wish us luck!

Another AMAZING Stride for Paganism in the Military

2010-02-01T23:00:00.000-06:00

Someone posted this article on a Pagan group on BabyCenter.com and I just had to share! So exciting! The article can be found here.

Pagans get worship space at academy

Staff report and wire reports
Posted : Monday Feb 1, 2010 16:27:54 EST

The Air Force Academy will add a worship area for followers of “earth-centered religion” — pagans — with a dedication ceremony scheduled for March 10.
A double circle of stones atop a hill on the campus has been designated for cadets and other service personnel in the area to practice Earth-centered faiths.
The academy said Monday that staff at the academy chapel worked with Tech. Sgt. Brandon Longcrier, a follower of the pagan tradition, to establish the site. He’s the noncommissioned officer in charge of the academy’s astronautics labs.
Longcrier said the stones had been moved to the area at some point in the past to keep them from rolling downhill and potentially striking buildings. The crews placed them in a circle thinking it would be a pleasant place for cadets to relax. The circle will join Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim and Buddhist sacred spaces at the academy in Colorado Springs, Colo.
Longcrier said he did not encounter resistance to the idea.
“There really haven’t been any obstacles for the new circle,” he said in an Air Force news release. “The chaplain’s office has been 100 -percent supportive.”
The chief of the academy has made religious tolerance a priority after 2004 a survey of cadets found instances of harassment. Longcrier said earth-centered spirituality includes traditions such as Wicca and Druidism. Wicca is the largest religious group in the Air Force after Christianity.

If that last line didn't just blow you away you weren't paying attention!

Going Green is Much Easier Than You Think

2010-01-28T14:01:00.000-06:00

I came across a neat article on BabyCenter.com called Going green: 20 small steps that make a big difference and I wanted to share it with you here. As Pagans we're all interested in taking care of our mother Earth but a lot of options seem way out of reach (who has the money to actually buy a hybrid car anyway? Not me.) Here is the full article. Some of these tips are geared towards children or parents but I figure there are plenty of both in the Pagan world as well :)

In your home

Make your fridge efficient
"The single biggest electricity user in your house is the refrigerator," says Lisa Moore, climate and air scientist at Environmental Defense, who notes that you can reduce the energy drain with a few simple tricks. Cleaning the coils every six months will help you use less energy and save money. (Flip up or remove the kick plate or toe grill, and clean with a vacuum attachment or bottle brush. Make sure to unplug the fridge or turn off its circuit breaker first.) So will keeping the fridge set between 38 and 40 degrees and the freezer between 0 and 5 degrees — the settings where it's most efficient.

Stop standby waste
Unplugging TVs, DVD players, computers, and other major electronics when they're not in use could keep thousands of pounds of carbon dioxide out of the air each year, according to Al Gore's site An Inconvenient Truth. (Even when they're turned off, their standby consumption is about equal to running a light bulb continuously.) To avoid the hassle of constantly plugging and unplugging, here's an easy solution: Plug several electronics onto one power strip and switch it off. As for small gadgets like cell phones, digital cameras, and hand-held vacuums — once they're charged, keep them unplugged until needed.

Light up right
"Switching from traditional incandescent bulbs to fluorescent is the easiest and most cost-efficient fix for saving energy," says actress Rachelle Carson-Begley, wife of actor and eco-activist Ed Begley Jr. Even though fluorescent bulbs cost more, you'll save up to $60 in energy bills over the lifetime of the bulb. If you don't like the look of fluorescent, switch out the garage and hall lights, and save the mood lighting for bedrooms and bathrooms. Or, mix iridescent and fluorescent in multibulb fixtures.

Flush water waste
A whopping 40 percent of the water used in your home goes down the toilet. A low-flow toilet can cut the amount you use by half or more (and yes, it'll work just as well). A low-tech alternative: Put a brick or plastic milk jug filled with pebbles in the tank. The space it takes up reduces the amount of water needed to fill the tank, so you'll save gallons (and money) with each flush.

Fix drips and leaks
A leaky faucet? Time to call the plumber. That slow but steady drip, drip, drip can waste up to 20 gallons of water a day. Extra credit: Replacing standard faucets and showerheads with low-flow versions will help a family of four save 20,000 gallons a year.

There are plenty of other small but significant ways to conserve, says Joanna Yarrow, author of 1001 Ways to Help the Earth. "Keep a pitcher of water in the fridge so you don't waste water as you wait for it to get cold from the tap," she recommends. "And turn the water off when brushing your teeth."

Use dishwasher smarts
"A lot of people think washing by hand is more environmentally friendly than running a dishwasher," says Yarrow. Not necessarily so. You can save up to 20 gallons of water a day by waiting till your dishwasher's full to switch it on. You'll save even more energy by letting dishes air dry on the racks instead of using the heat dry cycle. Plus, most new dishwashers don't need you to prerinse. Simply scrape off food and load, and you'll conserve another 20 gallons.

And if you're in the market for a new dishwasher (or any appliance), look for the Energy Star label. It'll save you more than $40 a year in utility bills, and many power companies offer rebates as well.

Wash in cold
"By washing clothes in cold water rather than warm or hot," says EcoMom Alliance president Kimberly Danek-Pinkson, "you can eliminate 500 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions a year." (Bonus: Your clothes will last longer.) If cold water isn't going to cut it with your kid's grimy duds, opting for warm water over hot still saves energy and gets clothes clean.

To make laundry day even more energy-efficient, wait until you have a full load. Danek-Pinkson also advises rethinking what constitutes dirty. "Kids go through lots of outfits that wind up on the floor, and then you toss them in the laundry basket," she says. "Ask yourself, 'Is this really dirty?' If not, think of all the energy you'll spare — for the planet and yourself — by not washing them."

Get the lint out
"If you clean out the lint filter of your clothes dryer before each load, you'll reduce your energy use by up to 30 percent," says Jennifer Hattam, green living expert for the Sierra Club. (That's nothing to sneeze at, considering the dryer is one of the biggest energy hogs in the house.) As with the washer, waiting till you have a full load saves lots of energy.

Adjust the thermostat
"Turning the thermostat just two degrees up or down saves a lot of energy and money," says Earth Day Network president Kathleen Rogers, who headed up the Two Degree Campaign. Rogers recommends setting that thermostat dial to 68 degrees in winter and 72 in the summer. For winter nights, lower to 65 degrees and pile on the blankets. And if possible, opt for an energy-efficient fan instead of air conditioning during summer.

On the road

Pump up tires
"If you'd properly inflate your tires, you could reduce global warming and have cleaner air to breath," says Savannah Waters, who founded Pump 'Em Up at age 9. She makes a good point. If all American drivers kept their tires at the recommended pressure, we'd save about 4 million gallons of gas a day (and our tires would last longer, too).

Drive smart
When waiting to pick up kids after school or soccer practice, you'll spare the air — and the lungs of the children waiting for their rides — if you don't let your car idle. The Environmental Protection Agency recommends turning off your engine if you're going to be in one place for more than 30 seconds.

Also, be a steady driver. By avoiding sudden braking and acceleration, you'll increase fuel efficiency by as much as 40 percent. And if you set your highway cruising speed to 55 to 60 miles per hour, you'll save even more gas.

"Driving the speed limit and at a steady speed, without sudden stops and starts, is safer for you and your children anyway," Jennifer Hattam points out.

Plan your trip (or just walk)
Given that roughly a quarter of daily car trips are one mile or less, there's a health-friendly alternative way to get to the local market or park. "Get out of your car," says Rachelle Carson-Begley. "Walk a little and get your exercise." And when you do climb into your car, plan your trip so you hit all your stops along the most efficient route — you'll save time, money, and gas.

Trim your trash

Rethink the baby wipes
Most baby wipes take several hundred years to break down, says Joanna Yarrow. Considering the number of wipes used in the United States (about 5,000 per baby), that's a lot of landfill. The most earth- and baby-friendly alternative, Yarrow says, is to make your own by cutting cotton fabric into small squares and washing them when dirty. At the very least, when just a quick swipe of a wipe is needed for easy cleanups, rip a wipe in half.

Bring your own bag
It takes 12 million barrels of oil, and 14 million trees, to make all the paper and plastic bags Americans go through each year. Next time you shop, take cloth bags (keep a few in the trunk to have on hand). Or just reuse — sturdy plastic bags or double-bagged paper ones hold up for months, and they're free. Extra credit: Reuse plastic produce bags, or pick up a few cloth ones (you'll find them at Reusablebags.com).

Break the bottle habit
Making and even recycling plastic water bottles uses energy and releases pollution, and every year, millions of them wind up in landfill. It's not worth the waste, argues Gina Solomon, senior scientist for the National Resources Defense Council. "Bottled water is often just tap water with a fancy label and a high price, and it's not any better for you," she says. In fact, Consumer Reports found that about a quarter of bottled water comes from the tap.

A more earth-friendly alternative is to fill reusable aluminum or stainless steel bottles with tap. If you're concerned about water quality or don't like the taste, try a filter (our food safety area has info on the various kinds).

Buy recycled paper
Yes, it costs more. But the paper industry is the third largest contributor to global warming, according to StopGlobalWarming.org. If your budget doesn't allow for it, try to reuse. For instance, take home used paper from the office and use the clean side for to-do lists, phone messages, and art projects — and then toss it in the recycle bin.

Recycle
It sounds old-fashioned to mention recycling — until you consider that an incredible 69 percent of Americans still don't do it. For tips, including what's recyclable in your town, go to Earth 911. Extra credit: Try to steer clear of food and toys wrapped in excess packaging.

Have a kid swap party
No, we're not suggesting you trade in your temperamental toddler. In the spirit of community and recycling, Grist president Chip Giller swaps kid items with other parents. "All our friends are having kids now, and we pass clothes and toys from one person to another," he says. If you make a party out of it, you get a twofer: new duds and toys, plus plenty of fun.

Involve your family

Grow a garden
"Mucking about in the garden is a great way for kids to interact with nature in a meaningful and rewarding way from an early age," says Yarrow. Even urban kids will enjoy planting seeds in flowerpots for a windowsill garden.

Use your voice
If you or your child is concerned about an environmental issue, sit down and write a letter together. "One letter sent the old-fashioned way, as opposed to e-mail, can greatly influence your congressperson or senator," says Moore. You can find contact information for your elected congressional representatives and senators online.

BabyCenter 7: Protect your child's environmental health

Can the pesticides
"Pregnant women and children are especially vulnerable to pesticides and should avoid them whenever possible," says NRDC's Solomon. Young kids who are exposed to pesticides are at greater risk of developmental delays and childhood cancers, specifically leukemia and brain tumors. At the top of Solomon's list to avoid: flea dips and collars, bug bombs, roach spray, and pesticides on lawns and gardens, which can be tracked into the home and which run off into local streams and waterways. "To keep fleas at bay," says Solomon, "wash pet bedding in hot water every two weeks, vacuum often, bathe your pet with pet shampoo, and flea comb regularly." If that doesn't work, Solomon recommends oral pest control like Program or Sentinel flavor tabs.

Clean the indoor air
"Air quality inside our homes is often much worse than the air outside," says Sierra Club's Hattam. One way to cut down on indoor air pollution is to use nontoxic cleaning products. For starters, rid your house of ammonia and bleach, which are among the worst offenders. Then stock up on green cleaners or make your own. Other easy tips: Throw open the windows regularly to ventilate, and fill the house with plants — they absorb air pollutants.

Eat organic
Earth Day Network's Rogers says that if you can afford it, it's worth the extra money to buy your kids organic meat and dairy. "Our children don't need antibiotics and pesticides in their meat, milk, butter, and cheese," she says. And if possible, buy organic berries, apples, peaches, pears, nectarines, bell peppers, carrots, green beans, potatoes, and spinach — the fruits and vegetables that have the highest residues of pesticides.

Fish for low-mercury seafood
Figuring out how much fish and what kind is safe can be confusing. An easy rule of thumb when it comes to avoiding mercury in fish, which is especially harmful to pregnant women and young children: Eat big fish (such as mackerel, swordfish, and grouper) no more than once a month (and avoid them completely when pregnant or nursing). As for that lunchtime mainstay? "Go for chunk light tuna," says Solomon. "On average, it has one-third the mercury concentration of albacore." (BabyCenter experts still advise limiting yourself to one can a week during pregnancy.) For more information on choosing fish, visit Oceans Alive.

Check the lead
"People often renovate their homes right before a baby is born," says Solomon, who advises expectant moms and dads and parents of young kids to be especially mindful of lead exposure. "If your house was built before the mid-1970s, get the paint tested before you start scraping or sanding," she says. You can pick up an inexpensive lead test at your hardware store. If you do find evidence of lead, have a certified professional painter do the job.

Don't microwave plastics
"Human and animal studies have linked certain chemicals in plastics to birth defects and other health problems" says Sonya Lunder, senior analyst for Environmental Working Group. "But it's unclear how much of a hazard common plastics pose for young children." Since these chemicals are released when plastic is heated, one simple way to reduce your exposure while scientists sort out the evidence is to avoid microwaving drinks or food in plastics. You can use glass or ceramic containers (without any metallic paint) instead. And if you want to pick and choose your food containers more carefully, Lunder says the plastics of greatest concern are marked with a number 3, 6, or 7 on the bottom.

Get enough iodine
Many environmental contaminants contribute to thyroid imbalance — a concern for moms-to-be, since their thyroid levels affect their baby's developing brain, says Lunder. Iodine can help counteract the effects, and Lunder says it's especially important for expecting and nursing moms to get enough. While iodine deficiency is considered rare in the United States, there are signs that this may not be true for pregnant and nursing moms. One recent study of breastfeeding women, for example, found that almost half didn't have enough iodine in their milk to meet their infant's needs. The American Thyroid Association recommends a prenatal vitamin with 150 micrograms per day of iodine for pregnant and nursing women.

The Hunger

2010-01-21T16:35:00.000-06:00

It's started: the insatiable appetite. I'm always hungry. It seems despite eating and filling up, I will feel the need to eat more only minutes later. My body is seriously feeling the need to pack on some pounds. Am I actually putting on weight? No, of course not! And what's even better is NOTHING sounds good. Everything actually sounds really gross. Yay! That is the only negative thing I will say in this post! Because being pregnant is honest to goodness totally awesome and I am so blessed to be experiencing all of this. But sometimes it doesn't necessarily feel awesome :)

Who else here likes to watch Grey's Anatomy? It is really dramatic and silly sometimes but I'm telling you right now that I'm obsessed. And I watch it every time I don't feel well so guess what is on TV right now? Yeah. I've probably seen season one like, five, six times? Not a lie friends. I won't even tell you how often I've seen season three. Do any of you do the same thing? Always go back to a certain TV show, movie, cd or book when you're feeling crappy or just bored? I'm a pretty bad repeater. Some movies I will watch over and over. Some books (read: Harry Potter) are the same.

So ladies and gents, what are you Imbolc plans? I'm pretty excited about this year. I plan on making a nice meal and having a ceremony welcoming back the sun. I'm going back to read Sabbats by Edain McCoy again to refresh my memory. I plan on making a better post about this very subject in the next few days.

And another belly pic:

Symptomatic

2010-01-19T23:05:00.001-06:00

First of all, my beautiful print of the Ace of Wands from the Deviant Moon tarot deck arrived today! Here are the lovely pictures!

This is the hand-drawn picture from the front of my package.

The hand-drawn moon on the back of the package.

The inside packaging with a congratulatory message from Patrick Valenza, creator of the Deviant Moon tarot, on my pregnancy :)

The back of the print.

The beautiful print!

Signed in the left-hand corner.

Only 50 of these prints will be sold and I've got the third one.

Details of the lady's face.

Detail of the baby.

The bottom of the card.

Oh and yeah, I took ANOTHER pregnancy test. It really didn't feel real. That is the crappy part of finding out you are pregnant so early: you are always doubting it! I just wanted to see proof I guess. Of course, had I waited four more days I'd wake up in the middle of the night with my breasts hurting so bad I couldn't sleep and my stomach feeling like it had been kicked six or seven times. That's proof enough for me. I'm peeing about three times as much as I was before and the nausea is getting pretty bad. My skin is so dry, my face is breaking out like crazy and my scalp has never been so flaky in my life! My boobs look like they went up a cup size overnight and my skin is itchy all over. Pregnancy is so weird. My first appointment is in 15 days and I'm really anxious. At that point, we should be able to hear the heartbeat if everything is going well. I am trying not to get too excited until then but it's hard! I've been looking at baby bedding and I've already picked out what I want for a girl. I've also been doing tons of research on natural births and I came across this AMAZING documentary that I recommend to anyone who is a mother, pregnant, wants to have a baby someday, is a woman, is interested in pregnancy, obstetrics, midwifery, medicine or just really interesting facts that you most likely did not know. It's called The Business of Being Born and it's by Ricki Lake of all people but it's a beautiful documentary and I've already watched it twice. I am 100% certain I want to have a home birth if everything goes well after watching this film. It's incredible!

We also put an offer in on our home, negotiated for an hour or so, settled on a price and had our first inspection this past weekend! We are so excited and pretty certain that this home is ours. Thanks to everyone for your thoughts, prayers and energy! Things seem to be going really well so far and should continue that way. I couldn't be happier :) Okay, another long rambly post and I'm exhausted--another really awesome pregnancy symptom! I'll be back soon with a great post that will just blow you out of the water. Well a girl can dream!

Prayers and Energy Needed

2010-01-15T20:56:00.001-06:00

All right everybody, this is it. My husband and I find our house. After looking at close to 30 homes, we walked into this one and immediately knew it was for us. It is everything we've wanted in a home plus some. However, the current owners have several home improvement projects in the works that may hinder us from getting it approved through the VA loan. It is literally so perfect for us that my husband is willing to help the owners finish these projects so that we can get approved. It may even require some money up front but we would put all of our savings into this home before we even bought it in order to make this happen (not that it is necessary to use ALL of our savings, the projects that need to be finished actually look to require very little money, just time and effort). We are in love with this house. I know that if it is meant to be, we will get it but I'm also not going to give up easily. I will put up a fight. Every other house we've looked out that we would be willing to live in, we feel like we're giving up what we actually want.

This house is 3 bedrooms, 2 and a half bath. When you walk in, there is a huge formal dining room to the left that you can close off with pocket doors. Behind that is an updated kitchen, all white and very airy with tons of cabinet space. To the right of the main door is the living area, study and sun room. Behind the kitchen is the half bath with a beautiful pedestal sink. Beyond that is a tiled in mud room that leads to the back yard. Upstairs are the three bedrooms, all freshly painted with hard wood floors and ample closet space. The master bedroom has a fireplace in it. The master bathroom is completely brand new and huge. It has a fully tiled walk-in shower, huge whirlpool tub and a large counter with double sinks and beautiful lighting plus enough space to have a little sitting area. The other full bathroom upstairs is absolutely adorable with all white tile, very fresh. The third level is a partially finished attic that is already partitioned into a large bedroom and bath. The garage door is only wide enough for one car but it's very deep so two cars would easily fit into it; however it also has a large driveway big enough for another car if we don't want to park two deep. It was built in 1928 so it has all the charm of an older house but it is completely renovated to have modern amenities. No other house that we've looked at had enough bathrooms AND all the bedrooms on the same floor--which is important to us because of the baby on the way.

The things that need to be finished include the master bath. They've pulled the sink away from the wall to paint behind it and haven't pushed it back in. The remaining tile will have to be laid down after that. Some of the cabinet doors in the kitchen have been removed to be painted and need to be hung again. In the half bath downstairs, there is a small hole cut into the wall where they had to reach the water line. A water pipe recently froze and has been repaired but a 2"x"2 hole in the ceiling needs to be repaired; these are the only two projects that look like they will require money, everything else appears to have the material available, just needs the time.

After seeing this house, I had a dream about it. I dreamed I met the owners and they knew they had to sell us this house. Today our real estate agent called the agent who listed the home and she is going over there to look at the small repairs and talk to the owners about a time line.

I'm asking that you all think of my family and this house and send positive energy our way. I want everything to go as smoothly and quickly as possible. This is our dream home and we are willing to do a lot in order to get it. If you would like to look at some pictures, here is a link. I keep visualizing my husband and myself with our baby, two dogs and cat walking the halls of this beautiful home. Maybe you all could do the same :)

Oh and by the way, this is my pre-baby belly at 3 weeks and 6 days. Today I am 4 weeks and 2 days. On Monday and Wednesday I had blood drawn to check my pregnancy hormone (HCG) levels. They are supposed to double every 48-72 hours. On Monday it was 201 and on Wednesday it was 628. Things look great so far! My first appointment is on Feb 3rd and they will recheck. I will be exactly seven weeks and at that point my HCG will either indicate a viable pregnancy or a problem like before. I have complete faith that everything will be fine. When I asked the tarot if I would have a healthy pregnancy, I got the Queen of Pentacles which I took to be a good sign. My pregnancy symptoms have doubled since my last post but I'll be sure to update you all on those scintillating details later; right now, DINNER!

Pagan Pregnancy: Please Read!

2010-01-12T12:54:00.000-06:00

I'm going to repost a blog from the lovely Julie over at The Domestic Witch. You can read the post at its original source here.

"Recently I was the blog Musings of a Modern Hedgewitch where the author Arin Murphy-Hiscock was recommended. I didn't recognize the name so I searched for her on Amazon. However, I did recognize some of the books on Green Witchcraft.

One book in particular caught my attention titled Pagan Pregnancy: A Spiritual Journey from Maiden to Mother. I thought how unique! There is definately a need for a book like this! Here's a description of the book:

When a woman is pregnant, she becomes the very essence of the Goddess: she who carries life within her, she who will rebirth new life created from old.

There is more to a Pagan pregnancy than simply recognizing that pregnancy and birth have spiritual aspects. This book addresses those aspects of pregnancy and birth from a uniquely Neopagan perspective.

Rituals, exercises, and meditations form an essential part of the book, designed to help the woman attune to the energies that shift throughout pregnancy.

Topics explored include:

•Spiritually preparing for pregnancy
•Spiritual support for the physical, emotional, and spiritual changes that occur throughout gestation
•Spiritual support for miscarriage and abortion
•Rituals for conception, safe pregnancy, and safe delivery
•Responsible magical practice during pregnancy
•Ideological examination of pregnancy in myth and folklore
•Reference lists of animal spirits and deities associated with safe pregnancy and birth

I was in for a disappointment though. The release date was still to be announced!

So I high-tailed it to Google search and found the author's website. The original release date was July 2008. The publisher pushed back the release date and appharently never set another one even though Arin Murphy-Hiscock wrote on her website, "I've received more mail and comments and communication concerning this book than any other book of mine has drawn." Is this publisher completely and utterly stupid? This book is a bestseller before it's even printed!

It seems that Adams Media, the parent company of Provenance Press, has dropped Pagan Pregnancy from being published. I'm guessing that since they owned the rights to the book, Arin couldn't take it to another publisher.

So I am encouraging everyone to write an email to Adams Media demanding that they publish the Pagan Pregnancy book! A book like this is needed!

Here are the contacts:

Requests and questions
deskcopies@adamsmedia.com

Trade Sales questions
Judy.Bernardi, Judy.Bernardi@adamsmedia.com

Corporate, Gift, Catalog, or Special Sales Questions
Maureen.Dhaene, Maureen.Dhaene@adamsmedia.com

Rights and International questions
Stephanie McKenna, Stephanie.Mckenna@adamsmedia.com

Publicity questions
Beth Gissinger, Beth.Gissinger@adamsmedia.com

All other questions
webmaster@adamsmedia.com"

Please, please take some time to write the publishers! There simply are no books like this one! It is indeed a rare gem and it would definitely benefit Pagan women. I wrote a five line e-mail and addressed it to every address included. It would really help if others would write as well. Thanks!

Rambly Things to Which I Have No Coherent Title

2010-01-12T00:11:00.000-06:00

I am bloated and cranky and achey all over! Oh my goodness! I am so congested--really cool pregnancy symptom, right? Yeah, I thought so too. Today I got my official results back from the doctor: pregnant. Woo! I had another blood test done today and I'll have another on Wednesday. They'll compare my HCG (pregnancy hormone) levels at that time and make sure they are on track. If they aren't multiplying quickly enough, it could indicate that something is wrong. Something someone said on my last post made me realize that some people don't know how common miscarriages are. Not to be a Debby downer or freak anyone out, but miscarriages happen to fifteen to twenty percent of known pregnancies. Also, virtually every woman will have a miscarriage in her lifetime, although most don't even realize it! It's much more common than most people realize. It's an unfortunate fact of life but it is definitely a fact of life.

On to happier things! Tonight I ordered a print of the Ace of Wands card from the Deviant Moon deck and I am so excited! For those of you who didn't get to read my past few posts, this is the card that predicted my pregnancy. So in two to seven days, I'll receive my beautiful 13''x9'' print! I definitely plan on framing it and putting it up in the nursery.

I've also found a doula who is from Ft. Riley, her husband is deploying the same month as mine (March, yikes!) and she will be living in the Kansas City area while he is gone, which is where we're buying our house! On top of all that, she's in training so her services are free. She's not a Pagan but is very spiritual and her in-laws are Wiccan so there is a definite Pagan influence in her family. I'm really excited about this! I definitely believe pregnancy and childbirth to be a spiritual experience, just not a physical one. I think we over medicalize the whole process and so many women miss out on a deeper meaning. I'm definitely an advocate of natural childbirth although I'm not completely opposed to medicine. If something needs to be treated, there's no reason to deny it, if it's honestly what is best. However, there are SO many doctors that will just insist on taking the easy way out as opposed to letting things develop naturally. On top of that, there's research that proves that women who use doulas and/or midwives are much less likely to need medical intervention during their births. Sorry, I'm ranting. The whole point of this is I want to fully experience my pregnancy, including the spiritual aspects of it. I'm making the transition from maiden to mother and it is a huge event. HUGE!

Okay I'm really tired now. And rambly. And probably not making sense and sounding just completely bat shit crazy. So I'm going to come up with a completely non-pregnancy related post for next time :)

A Year and a Day

2010-01-10T22:09:00.000-06:00

I'd like to thank everyone for their warm wishes and sweet congratulatory messages. I'm super pumped up and plan to bore you all to death with my pregnancy details. I will admit I'm not letting myself get TOO excited because of what happened earlier this year (you may remember from way back in the day when I did Moon Magic Monday). We aren't even telling many people yet (outside of you, faithful readers). I am only three weeks along after all and knowing how fragile something like a pregnancy is, we've only told our parents and a few other people. But for your viewing pleasure (or my craziness) here are some more pictures :)

Please don't judge me for taking so many tests. I'm sort of obsessed. And I get my blood results tomorrow. See, I keep psyching myself out by convincing myself that when I call the doctor the results will be negative and I just had some wonky tests. I'm already crazy. I don't need to add pregnancy hormones to the mix. So strap yourselves in folks, I am not accountable for what ensues here.

So on to other things! I am trying really hard to catch up on my blog reading and commenting. I am unofficially back from my hiatus until I can catch up a bit so have some patience with me :)

December 25th marked a year and a day of dedication to my Pagan path. I didn't do much in the way of practice the past year; I spent much more time studying and meditating. I want this next year to be different. I want my practice to become a living practice. Now that I'm certain (as if I weren't before), I'm ready for things to be a bit different. I've seen evidence of what I can do, of what this path can do for my life. Now I want to take the next step. It's pretty exciting :)

An Update

2010-01-09T00:56:00.000-06:00

If you haven't already, you should read my previous post before you read this. Go ahead, I'll wait. It's short :)

To answer Mother Moon's question, I interpreted this as being a very funny cosmic joke. I figured, we joked with the tarot, the tarot joked back with us. However, after everyone had gone on to other things, I asked the cards if it was really possible if I was pregnant. I pulled The Devil. At this point, I went into my bathroom and opened a pregnancy test. But I stopped myself from peeing on the stick. I'm was still nine days away from my period, there was NO way I'd be able to tell if I was pregnant or not.

This morning when I woke up, however, rational thought was pretty much gone. Yes, I peed on the stick.

You may have to click on the picture to see, but that is a very faint line ladies and gentlemen, which often indicates a very early pregnancy. I called the hospital for a blood test. I took it but OF COURSE by time the results would be ready, the OBGYN clinic would be closed FOR THE WEEKEND! I promptly went to the store and bought myself a digital test. The result: Pregnant. On Monday we'll know for sure whether or not I'm pregnant but I'd say this is a pretty big sign from the universe. I do believe thanks to the tarot, I caught my pregnancy at three weeks along :)

Thanks, Universe

2010-01-07T22:56:00.001-06:00

Tonight my husband asked me to do some readings for him using the Deviant Moon tarot. He asked some pretty standard things, such as "How will house hunting go this weekend?" (Yes, we're buying our very first home!) and "Will we be able to find you the right car?" (Yes, he's getting me a Honda Element for my belated Christmas present!) and then he says "Did I put a bun in your oven?" and we all sort of laughed oh haha, so funny. This is what turned up:

Okay then.

Clash of the Titans - Oh Oh Oh!!!

2009-12-27T20:54:00.002-06:00

Imagine Sam Worthington aka Marcus Wright from Terminator Salvation playing Perseus, Liam Neeson aka Qui-Gon Jinn from Star Wars playing Zeus and Ralph Fiennes aka Lord Voldemort playing Hades in the epic story Clash of the Titans. Three of the most attractive men on the face of the planet--I may be slightly biased because they play characters in some of my other favorite stories--combined with Greek mythology. I am in heaven. It is going to be epic.

Perseus. Pegasus. Io. Zeus. The Graeae sisters. Danae. Cassiopeia. Andromeda. Medusa. Poseidon. Hades. The kraken. It's all there. And it's going to be amazing. March 26. Be there or be square.

And yes, the new background on my computer is Perseus holding the head of Medusa. I'm in love O.O

A Quick Hi! And a Question

2009-12-24T15:39:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone! I hope you all had a fabulous Yule. Mine was quiet but lovely. I've been baking up a storm too; I think I may be channeling Martha Stewart. One can only hope :) I just wanted to drop by and say I miss everyone, can't wait to get back in the swing of things and I hope everyone's holidays are going well!

Also, I'd like to ask if anyone here has an interest and has done any studies in Greek mythology. I'm doing some research and I've found that I have been particularly interested in women in Greek mythology, mainly human women (although I can always dig on a good goddess story). If you have an interest, have some interesting tidbits on the topic or know some good resources, please drop me a line! I'd love to share and collaborate :)

Holiday Hiatus

2009-12-14T11:15:00.000-06:00

Hello lovely Bloggers! I should've posted this a long time ago but life gets busy so here I am. I'll be taking a bit of a hiatus during the holidays due to all the running around I have to do. I will miss you all (have missed you since I'm sort of in the middle of my hiatus) and can't wait to get back and reconnect :) Happy holidays!

Magical Music: Guest Blogging with a Pagan Rhythm!

2009-12-03T17:02:00.009-06:00

Hello everyone at Jupiter's blog, and Happy Thursday! I think I already know many of you, but for those who I haven't met yet, my name is Lyon and I "live" at The Wandering Hearth. Jupiter has kindly asked me to guest for her today, and I have to say that I am excited and pleased to be sharing blog space with this sweet and amazing lady. I don't have to tell you that, you already know her and you know how awesome she is. So without further ado, allow me to to put my feet up on her coffee table, make myself at home and get down to the blogging business!

I thought and thought and thought some more about what I wanted to talk about today. This is an important gift to me and I wanted to be sure to write something that would do Jupiter's space justice. So, I started to think about the things that I love and might want to share with others and it occurred to me that one of the things that has been very special to me throughout my Pagan journey has been music. I was just having a conversation with some folks the other day about the place of music in our practice and daily lives, so why not write about that? Never mind that this is a potentially ginormous topic. I will tackle this by taking the opportunity to share with you some of the music and artists that have meaning for me and direct you to where you can learn more about these artists, sample their music, and even carry some home for your very own too if you like what you hear.

Much of this music takes on a very "folky" feel. If that isn't your thing, but you are looking for music with a spiritual bent that is more to your taste, don't despair. Pagan flavored music comes in all genres and shapes from rap, to pop, to metal and back again. Google is your friend and a few minutes doing some simple searches will yield a goldmine of music to explore, I promise. I however do enjoy some of the more folky and some of the more "old school" Pagan music, so that's what I'm sharing today. ;-)

The first group I want to share with you is Gaia Consort, soon to be renamed Bone Poets Orchestra as the group is going through some evolution. This group has already grown and changed quite a bit over the years, and their entire discography is available to listen in streaming on their website. (link) Their music ranges from haunting and sweet ballads, to more creative and jarring beats, and subject matter ranges from mythology, ritual, polyamory, folklore and beyond. I've listened to this group for years and have really grown up as a Pagan as they have grown in their creation of music. I think there's a little something for everyone with this band, and I am looking forward to their new incarnation very much!

The second artist I wish to share is Sharon Knight. Her voice is amazing and very distinctive and her music comes full of drums and strings and everything in between. As a solo act, she styles herself as a Celtic Folk artist. When she teams up with Winter in the band Pandemonaeon, they describe themselves as having a darker edge in their music. Either way you choose to go, the music is rich and story filled and I highly recommend giving it a listen. You can visit Sharon's page here (link) or Pandemonaeon's page here (link). Recent projects of Sharon's include a new upcoming album with Winter and two albums with the author and teacher T. Thorn Coyle.

The third artist I would like to discuss is S.J. Tucker. You can visit her at her livejournal under the name of Sooj and get to know her a little bit, or you can visit her website here: (link). (You have to love the title of her website, Skinny White Chick. It's funky like she is.) S.J.'s music is of the Filk (folk/rock) variety and her creativity has no boundaries. She is the author of one of my absolute favorite pagan songs of all time, Hymn to Herne. She's also an accomplished fire spinner and her work in this vein is as impressive as her music.

The fourth artist on my list today is Sarah Stockwell Arthen. Her album Dark of Moon was one of the very first pagan cd's I ever heard and I wore it out. And several cassette tapes and burned cd's I had from the original too. This is pretty seriously hard core folk, not really for those who are sort of lukewarm on the genre. The music is mythical and beautiful, definitely worth a listen. The music on Dark of Moon itself is perfect harvest season music, give it a listen and you'll see. You can check her out at her website here: (link).

Since this is definitely approaching epic proportions as far as length goes (read: way too long lol) I will wrap this up with one final artist recommendation, though I certainly go on for quite some time. The last mention I will give today goes to Deborah and Rick Hamouris. This is definitely some old school Pagan music, but their album Welcome to Annwn is a classic and this music has been passed around and used within rituals for years. (And it is yet another very seriously hardcore folk selection, so keep that in mind.) I could not find a website for the couple themselves, however Welcome to Annwn is available and reasonably priced on Cdbaby (link) - as is the music of all the artists I've shared with you today.

It is also worth a mention that Lastfm (link) is a wonderful online streaming radio invention where you can find all these artists and many, many more if you are interested in doing some of your own musical exploration!

That about does it for today. It's been a lot of fun getting to write here and share with all of you. I hope you enjoyed my offering, and if you are already an appreciator of music with pagan flavor, that I was able to share something new with you, and if not, I was able to turn you on to something new altogether. (And failing that, well. Different strokes for different folks and all that! ;-) ).

Guest Blogging and Other Updates

2009-12-02T10:36:00.000-06:00

The past few weeks have been so crazy over here! I feel like I've been sort of disconnected to my friends in Blogland. But I've been very productive at home and having a blast with it all. Last night I went to see New Moon with my friends. I don't even want to get into what I think of the Twilight series, it's just too much drama. However, I have to say that after watching that half naked seventeen year old for an hour and some, I can see why girls fall in love with the movies. I will say one thing, if anyone in that movie wins awards for anything other than just plain being sexy, I will cry. The acting was atrocious. And Dakota Fanning is growing up! She's beautiful in this movie and yeah, as hard as it is to sit through those movies, I will be watching the other ones if she's in them. Or the seventeen year-old eye candy. Jeez. Now that I'm doing being a creep, we can move on to other things!

Yesterday I bought a mini tree at WalMart. Since it's finally December 1st, I decided it's okay to enjoy a little holiday spirit. It's three feet tall and so stinkin' cute. I also bought a few other things for making Yule gifts. I'd like to save some money this year and not go as crazy as we usually do. I try to spend between 15 and $20 on each family member... that may not seem like a lot but I'm the oldest of seven kids. Add my parents and any other important people into the mix and we're looking at a bit of money. So I'm making gifts this year and I'm actually really excited. I love making stuff, I think it's more meaningful anyhow! I'm also going to make lots of cookies, cakes and muffins this year. I feel like I'm channeling Martha Stewart and it rocks. Don't judge me, Martha is my friggin' hero :) Did you know she used to model? Yeah, I know--she's amazing.

For those of you who were kind enough to ask, my Thanksgiving turned out really well! Absolutely nothing disastrous happened and the food was yummy. My carrot cake cookies ended up being mini cupcakes because the cookie part just wasn't happening. I forgot an ingredient that makes them stick together and not form carrot cake pancakes and just gave up on that idea. However, the cupcakes were awesome and the rest of the food was really good too. There are little things that I would do differently next time but as it was my first time and everything was still edible, I'm totally cool with that! I keep surprising myself every time I cook something new and it turns out all right. Maybe I should just stop doubting myself :)

So on to the most important part of this post--tomorrow the lovely Lyon from The Wandering Hearth will be guest blogging for me! I'm so excited to have Lyon share my space. For those of you who aren't familiar, go check her out. Her writing is always sincere and moving. If you've been following for a while you may remember that about a month ago I awarded Lyon with the Samhain Spirit award. She was incredibly deserving of the award and continues to show her beautiful spirit through her writing. I hope everyone enjoys her post tomorrow as much as I know I will!

Before I close, I'd like to ask everyone what their favorite Yule traditions are. How long have you celebrated Yule? Do you celebrate with your family? For those of us with mostly Christian families, do you combine your celebrations or have a separate observance for yourself? I have to admit I was feeling sort of Scrooge-ish about the holiday season but I'm coming around. I'm pretty pumped about celebrating this year. What about you?

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T10:21:00.000-06:00

Woot woot, turkey day! I'm pretty pumped up about this Thanksgiving because I'm cooking! I've never cooked for Thanksgiving before so I'm a little bit nervous but really, I can't screw it up too bad. My brother Jeff and my friend Mica are both still here, as well as the hubs and my brother who is our room mate. I'm really glad to have a few people to cook for. This year I'm making ham though because I'm not a huge fan of turkey, at least at Thanksgiving. It seems like every Thanksgiving the turkey turns out dry and I'm just not a fan of dry turkey. So ham it is! I'm also making green bean casserole, mashed potatoes and my favorite carrot cake cookie sandwiches. Oh yes, carrot cake cookie sandwiches... with cream cheese icing in the middle. Yum!

How did everyone's Thanksgiving go? I hope everyone had a really fantastic day and enjoyed some delicious food! And don't forget, be safe! There are more accidents on Thanksgiving and Christmas than any other time of the year. Love to everyone :)

Weddings! and Various Other Updates

2009-11-23T20:26:00.000-06:00

If you've been following long you know that I'm in school to be a wedding planner. I'm obsessed with weddings. Completely and totally obsessed. I love weddings. They are beautiful. I've been subscribing to wedding magazines for about four years now. I've been a member of the TheKnot.com since then as well; if any of you have ever browsed the internet for wedding information you're probably familiar with this wedding planning site. I make wedding idea books: scrapbooks with ideas for a wedding based on a theme or color scheme. I have two such books in creation, one for a Spring and one for a Fall wedding. I cut out pictures from magazines that fit into these themes and make a scrapbook of sorts. I used to view it as a way for me to have fun but now I see it as a great business tool. I'll have several books of ideas at my fingertips for brides who would like some direction. Soon I'll be starting a Winter wedding book since all the bridal magazines will be reflecting those styles. They are definitely works in progress--the Spring book started four years ago!--but they're a great way for me to flex my creative skills while I'm waiting to finish my schooling.

So I've been pretty absent this past week. Tons of stuff going on! My brother had his court date and got probation. He's staying here for a few weeks while everything gets straightened out. My friend is in the process of moving from one apartment to another so she's also staying at my house for a bit. Right now we've got five people, two dogs and four cats staying here. It's kind of hectic but I've found that I'm really flourishing in this domestic role. I've been keeping the house clean, cooking healthy, delicious meals and running around taking everyone where they need to be. It's good to know I'm capable of doing all this.

Another episode of the Stove Experiments today! I made another stew but with beef this time. It came out SO well. Everyone in the house loved it and I still have tons for leftovers. This week I'll be making Thanksgiving dinner for everyone and I'm kind of nervous! What is everyone's Thanksgiving plans?

The Stove Experiments

2009-11-12T08:11:00.000-06:00

As with most things in my life, I notice that sometimes I want to blog four or five times a day and other times I can't think of anything to say for days. I'm going to try to remedy this by using the schedule option in Blogger. The days I feel like blogging a million times I'll just go ahead and do it but schedule them to come out at later dates. The only problem I have with this is that it's difficult for me to consciously write in the past tense. So today is Wednesday and I'm going to blog about this sweet stew I've got cooking but the blog won't come out until Thursday. So when I say I am doing this and that, it really means I did this and that. Not that it really matters, you have no idea when I made that stew and you probably don't care. So, on to the post!

I like to cook. I know how to make some basic things pretty well, according to my own tastes. My cooking experience is pretty limited to cooking for myself because when I became a vegetarian my parents supported it as along as I cooked my own meals. The first year and a half of my marriage my husband I were separated by our military duties and I took full advantage of the Army's cooking. My husband and I have been living together since January and I've since come to realize how much he dislikes home cooking. He isn't used to it at all. He was raised by a family who eats out every day and doesn't cook many family meals. He likes spaghetti, but not home made spaghetti sauce. Icky Ragu. So for the majority of the past year I've been living off fast food and boxed or frozen meals. And spaghetti. But I am tired of it! And literally sick of it, my digestive system has really been doing a number on me recently. So I'm starting The Stove Experiments. My attempts to whip up some yummy home cooked meals begins tonight.

My husband got some deer meat from someone in the office. I know nothing about deer meat except my mom cooked it once in a Shephard's Pie and it was freaking amazing. I originally thought it was like one big chunk of meat so I decided to make a stew out of it. I've never made stew but my parents make it all the time and I love it. I started to Google stew recipes but it was just altogether overwhelming how many different options there are out there so I decided to wing it and just pray it turns out okay. To my great surprise this morning, I realized the meat was actually ground... It looked way different when it was frozen, that's all I'm going to say. But I'd already bought all this stew stuff and I was just craving stew. So I decided to go ahead and just have ground meat stew. Whatever. I dumped it into a big pot with a bit of olive oil to brown it--deer meat is really lean I hear so I figured it could probably use some lube so to speak (before I spell checked this I had typed I could use some lube...). After it was mostly browned I threw some chopped onions in there and turned the heat to low.

I started to cut some potatoes, the leftovers we had laying around that looked like they might go bad soon. I threw in a bag of petite carrots, a can of corn and a can of green beans. At this point the pot was like 3/4 full so I added just enough water to cover everything, poured in the slow cooker seasoning mix I picked up and turned the heat up a bit. I figured it would be a good time to light some incense to Hestia. I prayed that it would turn out alright because I have no idea what I'm doing here. I prayed that this food would nourish or bodies and minds. It's just past noon, I plan on cooking it 'til around 5.

So far, it looks pretty delicious. I'll update after dinner :)

Update: Well, the veggies turned out AMAZING. But the deer meat must've been pre-seasoned? It just taste completely different than the rest of it. Gave it a bit of a conflicting taste. Hubs and I picked out all the veggies and had a hearty dinner. I just don't know what to do with all this meat now. I don't want to waste it but it doesn't taste good. Bummer! Any ideas?

Service

2009-11-11T17:33:00.002-06:00

I have already been on my soap box about the military over at The Wandering Hearth so I'll keep it simple today. Here are some pictures of my time in the military. There are a lot of them, just a warning :)

This is my best friend and I in the barracks, waiting for pass to start. The training we were in was very restrictive. Everything had to be earned. It was a privilege to put on our civilian clothes, leave the barracks and use our electronics, including cell phones.

Me drinking out of a Camelbak. The Army issues these and we have to wear them everywhere we go while we're in training. Hydration is very important in the Army and if you got caught without water in your Camelbak, you'd better pray the drill sergeant was in a good mood.

My friend eating my Nutella in my room. We were absolutely not allowed to have food in our rooms. I frequently broke this rule. I was commonly referred to as the "Contraban Queen".

This is my room mate (far left), myself, a friend and my best friend (far right) sitting at a strip mall with no clue what we should do next. Most everything was closed on Sunday but we wanted to make every last minute of our free time count, even if it meant just sitting in an empty strip mall enjoying the sun, far away from the barracks.

This is the creed of a PSYOP soldier. PSYOP stands for Psychological Operations, which is what my job was in the military. You can read the text if you click on the picture, if you're interested. Ever heard of those leaflet bombs in WWII? That was PSYOP. We rock.

Every time we went inside or came out of the barracks, we were required to do push-ups, sit-ups and pull-ups. Every. single. time. And if you got caught not doing them... again, you'd better pray the drill sergeant was in a good mood.

This is a girl I fought with all the time in AIT. Towards the end we started to get along better. She and I sat on the bus together on our way to our "field trip", which was a visit to the Airborne Museum at the end of our training.

This is where we stayed when we went to the field once. Those buildings on the left are our sleeping quarters. On the right is the "TOC" or tactical operations center. On this particular FTX (field training exercise) we pretended we were in another country doing operations. They had people pretending to be natives. We would leave the base and pretend we were on a real mission. We didn't get more than 4 hours of sleep and during those four hours our base was attacked several times. Every time we got "attacked" we all had to wake up and go to our posts and fight back. We did this for a week.

This is two of my friends on our field training exercise, extremely sleep deprived. These are the weapons we carried around 24/7. Do you see those red things at the end? They're muzzle covers. We only fired blanks on our training exercises.

This is me enjoying my cell phone before I had to turn in back in for another week.

At the DFAC (dining facility) my friend cut this heart out of her grilled cheese. I took my phone out and snapped a picture. I wasn't supposed to have my phone and someone who worked in the DFAC told my drill sergeants. I got my butt chewed.

These are the HMMVW's that we drove around everywhere. It stands for high mobility multipurpose wheeled vehicle. Also known as a humvee. Learning how to drive these things was fun until I had to drive them at night wearing night vision goggles. They have no depth perception so it's kind of dangerous.

This is what is known as a "joe party". The guys were always getting in trouble because their rooms were dirty so the drill sergeants made them take apart their rooms, including their bed frames, and take everything down two flights of stairs and outside while they cleaned out their stinky rooms. The females never had to do this :)

My room mate and I at Starbucks coffee.

My room mate on our field training exercise. This is what we did, huddled in our tents for heat, just waiting for an "attack". We had to be out on the line within two minutes or we were in it deep. We slept in our uniforms, including our boots, every night so we didn't have to take the time to put everything on.

That crazy person sporting two thumbs up? Me. The man drinking his coffee completely unsuspecting of me behind him? My favorite sergeant. We saw him at IHOP one weekend and my friend and I snuck around and took this picture while he had no idea we were even there. I got this picture blown up for him and he keeps it in his office.

My best friend wearing her wet weather gear (poncho).

The night before graduation, this is all of the females. We lived together for 17 weeks. We hated each other. We loved each other. We will never forget each other.

A message I got on my phone from my husband. He was in training several states away. We rarely got to see each other the first year and a half we were married.

My best friend reading Where the Wild Things Are to all the females. We had pajama parties, or the closest thing we could come to.

Graduation day. I can still recognize most of these people by the back of their heads.

This is one of my drill sergeants and myself after graduation.

Our head drill sergeant and myself. He is an amazing man.

Me, my favorite instructor and my best friend.

The scariest, most bad ass woman I've ever met, but a great drill sergeant.

My best friend and I before we have to part ways. She and I met in training but remain best friends despite the fact that she is stationed several states away. I have visited at least once a year since we graduated.

Future Prospects

2009-11-11T10:08:00.002-06:00

My father is an amazing man. He is very smart. He's a very kind, loving man. He has his flaws, like everyone, but he is my daddy. He is a man of many talents. He builds computers, likes to garden, and can fix just about anything. He and I are very similar. We're stubborn. We like to read and learn. We both have a hard time saying sorry and admitting when we're wrong. We both have a lot of interests. My father still doesn't know what he wants to be "when he grows up". He changes careers every few years. He has enough college credits to be about a semester short of a masters degree but they're all in different areas. He's forever pursuing his different options and interests.

I am a lot like him in this respect. There are so many things I could enjoy pursuing as a career. I love to make jewelry. I like herbs and love making useful products out of them. I'm obsessed with weddings. Pregnancy fascinates me. I like to teach and pass on the information I have gained. I can see myself doing any one of these things, or all of them. Currently, I'm attending school learning how to be a wedding planner. While this is very exciting and will be a great deal of fun for me, I feel like it doesn't include enough of my interests. How could I ever possibly find a career that involved enough of my interests to keep me interested long term? Or will I always be bouncing around like my dad?

For a while I've been considering getting training as a doula. For those of you who aren't familiar with a doula's purpose, click here for some basic information. Pregnancy is amazing to me. Since my best friend in high school got pregnant, I have loved pouring through pregnancy books. I'm a registered member of BabyCenter.com (yeah, I know, I'm a freaking dork). I think it's fascinating and I want to be involved in a non-medical way. I want to be involved during the pregnancy, labor and post-postpartum. It's pretty easy to become certified and not too expensive. But how would this work in tandem with being a wedding planner? I suppose being a wedding planner would be a great way to get clients as a doula--you already know someone and help them through one of their biggest milestones in life, you have trust and friendship there. It might be natural for them to turn to you for help in another milestone occasion. But how can I market that, the two of them together? And would I be spreading myself thin? Maybe if I only take on three or four weddings and births each a year, I could do it.

These are just a few of the major life decisions I've been pondering lately. My husband and I have been talking very seriously about where our marriage is going. In April, he deploys for a year. Although this will be a hard time for us, it will also be a good time to save up some money for a house. When he gets home from his deployment (only to Kuwait, thank the gods he isn't going to Afghanistan), he will be getting out of the military. From there, where will we go? Where will he get a job? Should we buy a house? We'll have a little over ten grand to put towards one, we may as well, right? There just seems to be so much going on, so many big decisions. I remember I used to get pretty excited when people told me that once you got past high school, life was easier. Who the heck told me that? Why would they say something so stupid?

How is everyone doing? There seems to be so much synchronicity in Blogland lately. Despite the fact that all these major life decisions seem to be looming, I'm in a pretty good place right now. I feel like the last few months I've spent so much time thinking, contemplating, worrying and now it's time for action. Knowing that things need to change only gets you so far, you know?

Current Music Choices

2009-11-10T20:32:00.002-06:00

I know I am, like, way behind the times here. I can be pretty tech savvy but there are some things that just slip right past me. I still don't understand the point of a Twitter..? So I'm going to post this for everyone else out there who is like me and seems to miss out on some of the good things in life.

Pandora. It pretty much rocks. This website is amazing. It creates radio stations according to your musical interests and offers suggestions of bands that are similar. For instance, I like Postal Service. I put that into my radio station and Pandora was like "Hmm, what sounds like Postal Service? Oh yeah, Owl City." I've been using this little gem all night after spending the weekend with a friend who showed me it's infinite amazing-ness (yeah, that's a word). I've discovered about ten new bands so far that I love love LOVE. For real, yo. Yeah, I know. I'm stupid. But seriously, check this out if you're kind of in a musical rut. I'm pretty particular about music. I hate the radio. If it's on the radio, I probably don't like it. I relied pretty heavily on my friends to introduce me to new music. And since I've moved out of state, I've been listening to the same bands for like, two years? And they're still good, always will be, but I like variety!

I'm in love. So here's a little playlist of the things I've been listening to lately, some old and new:
-Owl City
-Postal Service
-Iron and Wine
-Band of Horses
-Matt and Kim
-Her Space Holiday
-Andrew Bird
-Cloud Cult
-Death Cab for Cutie
-The Decemberists
-Say Anything
-Damien Rice

In about an hour or so, I'm sure there'll be fifteen new bands I like. This is just a small taste of what I dig listening to. If you like indie music I highly recommend all of these artists.

Perception

2009-11-09T22:22:00.000-06:00

I've had this post in draft for a while. I know I want to say a thing or two here but I've been putting it on hold for a while. But I read a post over at Rayden's Rants about a similar topic and I decided it was time to just get this out. People are intriguing. I love watching them, listening to them. Not just to the words coming out of their mouths, but listening to their body language. Listening to their posture, their facial expressions. The smallest twinge can give a person away. People tell me I'm intuitive. They say I see things others don't, I can read people like a book. I don't necessarily think this is true, though. I'm not sure people can be so clueless, honestly. How someone can not interpret that "No, really, I'm fine" as "There's a lot going on and I just don't know how to talk about it". How people can't really see behind that smile. Or those tears. I think people chose to not see these things. I think people turn off their intuition. I don't think it's something some people have and others don't.

We all experience things that make our lives unique. They change us as people. These experiences are things many other people go through every day. But they are uniquely our own. One of the most interesting phrases is "I know what you're going through". I have to both agree and disagree with this statement. Our experiences aren't unique, but how they affect our lives, how we handle them and feel about them, that's unique. No one can ever truly understand how you're feeling about something. You are a unique person. You go through millions of experiences, thousands of things come together on a daily basis to shape you as a person. No other person on the planet is exactly like you for a lot of reasons. One of those reasons is we all experience things differently. We get puberty at different times. Our parents treat us differently. We have different teachers. We have different brains that perceive things differently.

There is no person in the world who has had a unique experience. Lots of people have miscarriages. Lots of people get divorced. Some people try drugs. A few people kill others. There are literally millions of people who have, are or will go through what you're going through. You are never alone in anything that happens to you. To think you're alone is selfishness. It's egotistical. It's naive and silly.

You are not an island unto yourself. You're more like a house. There are others that look like you. But they are made of different materials. Even if it's the same material, it came from a different source. It may be stronger or weaker than other materials. It may have flaws. It may have been cut out of the same stone, but one piece could've been dropped. One piece may have been heated to a dangerous point. Another piece may have sat in the rain. Every piece of material is different than the next. Your house is unique. You can hole up in your house all by yourself but there are others out there who look just like you. There are others who look a lot different than you. But you're essentially the same thing. There are some houses in the same neighborhood as you, experiencing the same elements. You'll get rained on at the same time. You'll feel the same wind and sunshine. But there are other neighborhoods yet, neighborhoods that will get different weather. They may never experience the same weather as you and vice versa. But the houses that are in your neighborhood, they'll be affected by the same weather differently. Maybe the house whose stone was dropped will crumble. The stone that was heated may crack and allow leaks. So each house is different. Similar but different.

I was born in 1987 and I was raised by a crazy person. A mentally unstable woman gave birth to me. She smoked while she was pregnant with me. Both of my parents were in the Navy. I cuss a lot, I was literally raised by sailors. I'm a firm supporter of the military. I don't believe in the concept of sin but I think killing a soldier is an unforgivable offense. My brother is a soldier. He almost died in Iraq. He saw his driver take his last breath, close his eyes for the last time. I cry a lot. I cry every time I read Harry Potter. I cry when I watch those I Shouldn't Have Survived shows. I have compassion for the strangest people, those people that most people don't understand; hell, most of the time I don't understand them. But I feel for them. I'm selfish. I'm ignorant. When I look at the man who hurt me more than any other person ever has, I still feel love for him. When I look at the woman who gave birth to me, I feel hurt and contempt. As much as I disagree with abortion, sometimes I wonder if I would do it if I got pregnant again. I like makeup. I hate the excuse "That's just how it is". I've tried most drugs. I enjoyed many of them. I'm bisexual. I think women are beautiful, soft creatures. My marriage started for all the wrong reasons. I'm trying to make it work for the right reasons. When I think of the perfect marriage, I imagine my dad and stepmom. I recently found out their marriage may not be working out after all. I wonder if love is possible. I'm a nude art model. I don't do porn. There's a difference.

There are probably thousands of people who fit all of these criteria. But not one of them will know how I felt when I had my miscarriage. Not one of them experienced it in exactly the same way I did. Nobody will know how it affected me when my brother went to Iraq or I went through basic training. But do people need to truly understand something in order to be supportive? In order to be let in? I don't think so. Our experiences aren't unique and there are common threads. We don't experience them so we can be alone, we experience them so we can grow together. We experience them so we can connect with people. So sometimes when it seems like what we're going through makes no damn sense at all, there can't possibly be a reason for what we're going through, remember that. Remember that someone else is experiencing the same thing. And next time you think no one could possibly feel the way you do, you're wrong. And you're right.

"Nothing of me is original. I am the combined efforts of everybody I've ever known." -"Invisible Monsters" by Chuck Palahniuk.

Tarot of the New Vision

2009-11-05T13:41:00.003-06:00

Last night my brother bought me a new tarot deck as a late birthday gift--my birthday is in April but he was in Iraq. We went to a book store in town called Peace of Mind. This store is amazing. They have more books on spiritual matters than I could try to guess at. They've got a few stones and crystals, a bit of jewelry and an herb room. But what I love most is their tarot case. They must have 50 different decks in there. This is where I picked up a mini Rider-Waite for my mother, who expressed an interest in tarot a few days ago.

I scanned the case for any of the decks I'm just dying for and found Tarot of the New Vision. I was super pumped about this because I think these cards will take me a long way in learning more about my Rider-Waite deck. These cards answer the question: what else is going on in the story of each card? What is the Magician looking at? What is the King of Swords contemplating? What other things make up the world around each card?

The deck came with the book which is 153 pages of very detailed information. The deck's artwork is beautiful. It's very colorful watercolor, less garish than the Rider-Waite. A few of the cards are not exact reversals. For instance, in the Magician, the sword and wand are on the ground instead of on the table. However, most images do stick with the original placements and it appears things have only been changed around to make an image work. The cards are thinner, more pliable for easier handling, but I'm sure this will also make them more susceptible to damage and not as long-lasting.

While learning the tarot I've made an effort to tell a story with each card. This deck makes that very easy. It also adds depth to the meanings I've come to associate with each card. The Hanged Man is before a jeering crowd who appear to be very angry, bringing to mind the story of Jesus' crucifixion. Now not only will I think of self-sacrifice, or an act done purely for the self, but I will think of acts done for the greater good. But I will also think of punishment and torture. It hasn't changed my original interpretation, simply added to it, making my tarot education more well-rounded.

One of my favorite images is that of the X of Swords. In this picture you can still see the man lying face down with ten swords protruding from his body but this time you see a woman shrouded in black looking at him. She appears to be mourning his death. Usually the X of Swords makes me think of what is ending in my life, how it affects me. But this image makes me think of how it may affect others around me. In the VIII of Cups you can see what the man in the image is walking away from; it isn't simply a few cups on the ground. There is an entire city in the background lit up with fireworks. What are they celebrating and why does this man feel so alienated from it? It gives you a lot to think about.

I wouldn't recommend this deck for beginners. Even though the deck is so similar to the Rider-Waite, it does leave out some important details that make the R-W deck so easy for beginners to learn. From behind, you can't see all the symbols that are easy to interpret. This deck adds a few more symbols but they aren't as clear cut as the R-W. I would suggest someone who is familiar with the R-W use these cards. It works great as a companion to readings and a tool to learn more about the beloved familiar images. This deck can be found for a great price through Llewellyn Worldwide.

How I Started the New Year

2009-11-04T22:10:00.000-06:00

The other night was a glorious full moon and I could feel its affects more than I have felt the moon in a while. It was incredible. I had to make the drive to Oklahoma but I'm here visiting family which is always worth the trip. The moon called to me while I was driving and I got to see the beautiful sun set and fade into twilight on one side of the road and the moon rise and leave behind its shroud of clouds on the other. Truly magnificent.

Yesterday I spent time with my mom and sister while my sister got her senior pictures taken. It was a lot of fun and in the background Mom and I had a really deep talk about life, love, marriage and how weird it all is. It was great to catch up with her because I feel like we haven't been able to talk about real things in so long. Later we discussed this book series that is based in the town we live in. The series is called House of Night and it's about a vampire school in Tulsa. It's pretty neat because the places the authors discuss in the books are places we've all grown up around so two of my sisters (the older ones, the book has some sexual themes) and my mom and I have been reading them. In the book, the vampires practice a form of Wicca, probably Dianic or something similar because they only mention the Goddess. It's actually what made me realize that somewhere in the world, there are people who have beliefs like mine. Anyway, as we were running errands I told them that and my mom said she had guessed that. It brought up a lot of interesting conversations throughout the night, all of which informed me that my mom dabbles in some Pagan practices. After a bottle of wine we revealed some pretty deep secrets to each other, and I came out of the broom closet to her. I'm pretty relieved to have been able to do this and I feel closer to her than ever. She's asked me to teach her about tarot so today I bought her a mini Rider-Waite deck so she could conceal it easily as my father is still as stubborn about his beliefs as ever.

Today included a lot of running around town and feeling really on edge. Samhain has left me a bit of a mess, I have to admit. I'm still so contemplative about everything in my life. I'm ready for a change but right now my mind is reeling about what things should change and what should stay the same. Anyway, I've had a bit of Kahlua tonight so I'm going to get off here before I get too chatty :) Goodnight, everyone.

Samhain Activities

2009-11-01T23:48:00.001-06:00

I had initially decided that I would not perform a ritual for Samhain (or any until at least a year of study) but the mood struck me and I decided to go with my gut. It was short and sweet and I really enjoyed it. Here is a picture of my altar.

Ignoring the herb shelf in the background, I think my altar turned out pretty neat this year. I grabbed some flowers from WalMart, lit my giant candles to represent Spirit, the Goddess and God, used a pomegranate, pumpkin and an apple cut in half for decorations. I also de-seeded another pomegranate to leave as an offering for the dead (center) and lit two smaller candles: orange for honoring lost loved ones, black for releasing negativity in my life. I also included the "flash" from a beret, it's the blue thing in front of the pomegranate seeds. The flash is something that goes on every soldier's beret and then there's a pin that goes on top of that to indicate what unit you're with. I used it to honor fallen soldiers.

Oh yeah, does anyone know anything about this phenomenon?:

And yeah, I did it. I dressed up my cat for Halloween. He was Santa's little helper though I think he was none too pleased about it.

I also performed a releasing ceremony. I wanted to include it in my ritual but I thought tempting my smoke alarm at 3am wasn't the best idea. I wrote down some things I want to be rid of in my life, such as procrastination, and burned them in my cauldron, along with some black salt and sage.

I've loved reading about how everyone's Samhain went and I wish everyone a blessed year!

Samhain Spirit Award Winner

2009-10-31T18:56:00.000-06:00

As promised, I am giving away this award I made specially for Samhain. I have been looking for a blogger who throughout the month has focused on what Samhain means to them. I know the giveaways and such are fun and exciting but I've honestly been looking forward to the end of October because I miss reading everyone's real blogs, not just their three line posts about such and such giveaway. I've posted about a giveaway myself so I'm not saying I'm against them, but I was really looking forward to this month in Bloggerland as a way to learn more about Samhain through different perspectives. And one blog in particular really has taught me a lot. That is what the Samhain Spirit award is about so on to the winner!

I am bestowing this award to Lyon over at The Wandering Hearth and I cannot think of someone more deserving. She is such a beautiful soul who has taught me a lot in the past few months. I have enjoyed reading her every day posts but this past month she has had some really thought provoking entries. From her responses on Elements of Historical Paganism to her personal introspection of the past year and what her journey has meant to her, she has gone above and beyond my hopes for what Samhain would bring to Bloggerland. I look up to her and I think anyone who is new to this path would agree once they got to know a bit about her. Lyon, thank you for being someone I can call friend and a really wonderful teacher.

What Samhain Means to Me

2009-10-30T09:06:00.002-06:00

This year will mark my first Samhain. I have been looking forward to this holiday more than any other because before knowing anything about Paganism, Halloween was a day that just made sense to me. I never got Christmas or Easter or Thanksgiving. I know what they're about but I never really connected to them. Sure, I love giving and receiving gifts. I love eating to my heart's content. I love egg hunting. I think it was the stories that got in the way. The stories of why we celebrate those days never meant much to me. Oh, Jesus was born on this day. But I'd think "Well, I don't really understand the whole Jesus thing and I'm not sure I believe in him". The Indians helped the Pilgrims. "And look at how we repaid their generosity". And my all time favorite: a large bunny hides eggs for children because Jesus came back to life. "Wait...what?" But there were never any confusing stories about Halloween for me. I never heard either way what Halloween was about. I don't remember ever hearing about All Saints Day and no one ever told me Halloween was a day that witches unleashed hell on the earth.

The things I do remember is dressing up and watching scary movies. Why did we dress up? Because it's fun and it would be silly to dress up every day of the year, which is why we pick just one special day. Why did we watch scary movies? Well, as a kid I always thought it was because Halloween was a time for us to look at the scary parts of life and get used to them. I loved scary movies as a small child because it was like facing something really horrible and surviving because I knew I was safe at home. That made a lot more sense to me than Jesus and the Easter bunny.

As an adult, as a Pagan, Samhain is sort of like watching a scary movie to me. This past month I've been spending a lot of time looking at my life, looking at all the things I'm not comfortable with, and surviving. Instead of dwelling and completely losing it, I have been learning how to be okay with it, learning how to know that I'm safe. Introspection has never been a safe activity for me before. I'm consistently too hard on myself and often find myself in a depression. But this month I've taught myself that looking inwards and accepting instead of berating is very healthy. It's actually sort of cleansing. It gives me the opportunity to go into the new year feeling refreshed and ready for whatever comes my way. It's like getting out a good cry in the shower, literally washing away all the grime and feeling clean inside and out.

As a person who has needed a lot of them, there's nothing more exciting than a chance to start fresh, new. And Samhain has become a time for me to actually feel good about it.

Life Update and Guest Blogging

2009-10-27T08:41:00.001-06:00

My fish tank is really rocking these days. The two fry survived into juvenile fish and are growing up real big. The above is a picture of the tank right now (forgive the glare). We've got tons of growth in there, both algae and plants. I tried to get an algae eater but the woman at the store said they won't sell the type of fish I want until I've got five months growth going on. So for now, it's all covered in green. Which is a huge difference from when I first put it together. You can see the fish in the picture. Both are orange, like Thetis (rest in peace). The next picture is an up close of the two.

So my Sabbats class at The Firefly Academy was really lame. I got enrolled last night and I finished all eight lessons already. Once I realized how easy it was going to be I went ahead and enrolled in Chakras and Auras and Tarot 2. I figured I'd take a break from tarot but hey, I'm really into it and planned on continuing my personal study anyhow, I may as well be taking the class. I joined the Chakras and Auras class as a supplementary learning tool to a study over chakras I'll be doing with some friends over the next couple of months. I'm also incredibly interested in auras so I think it'll be a lot of fun. I should be able to start this coming Sunday.

This Friday I have the honor of guest blogging over at Lyon's blog The Wandering Hearth. I'm really flattered that Lyon asked me to post. She'll have guest bloggers all weekend so you should check it out! And if you're not already a follower, I highly recommend it! Her blog is really insightful and full of fantastic information. She's a dear friend and someone I enjoy communicating with. So check it out, this Friday!

Procrastination

2009-10-26T12:12:00.000-06:00

I am really horrible about procrastinating. I'd like to use the excuse that it's because I work better under pressure, which I do, but it's also because I have a bit of a lazy streak in me. That's difficult for me to admit. I will put off anything that I find unpleasant in favor of easier chores. Not even necessarily easier chores, just different chores. I'm taking a certification course to learn how to be a wedding and event planner. It's a very easy course and I have a year to complete around 20 lessons. It's one of those online certification and degree schools that they advertise on television. It's kind of a joke and I really don't even need a certification to be a wedding planner, it just helps. It looks better and I'm the type of learner who needs some book learning before I get hands-on learning. I've always wanted to be a wedding planner but I don't think it's something I'll want to do for the rest of my life. But I got it paid for in grants, every last penny, so I figured why not? I'm not going back to college any time soon, I don't have the motivation to finish right now. I will, I know I will. I'm not the type of person who can just go to school and work on my core classes until I know exactly what I want to do. If I don't have a goal, a reason to be there, I'll get so bored I'll just stop trying. I know this because I did it last year. I dropped three out of four classes and only stuck with my Comp class because my teacher was amazing and she challenged me. Plus, I'll always have this to fall back on. No matter what happens, I will have a trade to fall back on. And people are always getting married.

So I'm taking this wedding planning course because it's fun, it entertains me, it's free. But it also covers event planning. Like fundraisers, company picnics, community events, birthdays. Blah. I don't find any of those things interesting to plan. So I was trucking when I first started this class. I was submitting an assignment at least every two days. And then bam! I hit a wall. The event planning wall. I had two lessons on the most boring aspects of this entire course back to back. I kept putting it off and putting it off. I put it off for a month and a half. Good thing I don't have due dates. Last night I said it's enough. I am so tired of putting off my life because of something stupid, like event planning. I dug out my books and got to work. It took me three hours to finish my first assignment because I was dragging through it. But once I was in the groove, it took me less than an hour to finish the next one. I ended up staying up all night long, longer than even I usually stay awake, but I finally finished those two assignments! I'm mailing them in today and now I can focus on engagement parties! Eee! How exciting! This is the good stuff!

When I'm done with wedding planning, I'm taking this school's computer class. I happen to pride myself on my computer skills. I'm no guru but I can navigate my way around a computer and I know how to fix simple problems. When I went to school last year, I also worked in the computer lab of the community college I attended. I was always so amazed at how few people knew their way around a computer. It was very scary to me to think that people my age knew only the very basic things, like here's the internet button and here's the Microsoft Word button and here's print. These people are our future and computers are our future. So I pride myself in having a knowledge base of computers. But there are some areas I'm lacking in. The last computer class I took was in the 8th grade and that's the last time I took a look around PowerPoint and Excel. I've never really been able to get Outlook to been a functioning part of my life, like my Dad does. This class will cover all that. After that, perhaps I'll take their Office Administrator course to help me apply what I've learned in Computer Essentials and put it towards running a business, which is what I hope to do with my Wedding Planning course.

All these things will help me have a business I can run from home. Plus, I'm getting it paid for. They're simple, easy to complete courses that give me some continued education without wasting the time and money at a regular institution. Don't get me wrong, I don't think going to college is a waste of time or money. I advocate it to the fullest. But I know that right now, for me, it would be a waste. I'll throw it away until I can figure out a goal. Right now my goal is to start my own business. I may not want that to be my goal forever, but it's a strong enough goal for me right now that I'll finish this course. I think I'm like my Dad in that regard. He has enough college credit hours to have a Masters degree. But they're in different areas so he only has three Associates and a bunch of extra stuff. I think it's amazing. My Dad still doesn't know what he wants to be but he hasn't stopped his continuing education. He thinks "Well, for right now I'm interested in ___, so I'll learn how to do that," and he'll do it for a while and then he'll change his mind. He has his fall back job so he's never out of work but he's forever in pursuit of his dream career.

If you're looking for a fall back job or just want to continue your education but don't have the funds or time for a regular program, I do recommend US Career Institute. It's put together in a very simple format and it's affordable. If you're a military spouse, PLEASE contact me! Your education is free! There is a program that pays up to $6000 in school expenses to help military spouses gain "portable careers", or jobs they can pick up and take with them anywhere in the event that their spouse has to move. If you know a military spouse, please take the time to tell them about this opportunity. Even if I don't plan on doing this forever, I will always have the means to run a business from my home because of this amazing opportunity. And even if you aren't a military spouse, their programs are very reasonably priced, they're at your own pace and I've had great experience with the people who work at US Career Institute. On top of that, their tuition payment program is really fantastic. So if you're interested or know someone who is, click on the picture way up top and it'll take you to their website.

Woo! Tarot Class Complete!

2009-10-25T08:32:00.001-06:00

Last night I submitted my final assignment for Tarot 1, the class I've been taking for the past few weeks. I'm so excited! I feel like the III of Cups right now. In this card, three women are toasting, dancing, celebrating. This card indicates that you've accomplished something and it's time to celebrate but don't just stop working altogether. This is just the foundation and there is a lot of work ahead. I have a lot to learn about tarot still. In a few weeks I'll enroll in the Tarot 2 class they offer at The Firefly Academy but right now, I'm going to work on the Sabbats class I enrolled in tonight while my final assignments are being graded. I need to give my writing hand a break :) Tarot 1 focused on journal entries and Sabbats will definitely be more of a research class. I'm going to celebrate my success and take stock of the work I've done so far. One thing I love about the III of Cups is that these women are dancing in a pumpkin field. To me that indicates that after the long growing season, they are enjoying the fruits of their labors. And this time of year, who doesn't just love pumpkins?

Strength

2009-10-22T23:21:00.000-05:00

I have been feeling really under the weather today. I've had an upset stomach and abdominal and back pains, among many other things. It's that time of the month again--yay menstrual cycle!--and I can really feel it. Tonight when I asked the tarot what I had in store for me tomorrow, I pulled Strength.

First off, Strength is my favorite card. It was the image that I always felt drawn to as a child and that continues as an adult. The woman in this card has a special message for me. She stands bent over a lion with her hands on either side of his mouth. She closes his mouth without much force. In fact, his tail is tucked between his legs, indicating his submission. This card isn't about physical force, it's about the strength of will power. I think the message of will power repeats in my life and that's why Strength is my special card.

However, I think the woman in the card has a simpler message for me tomorrow: I will need strength to get through the day. I have been feeling really crummy and I likely will continue to feel this way for a few more days. But I have a lot to accomplish over the weekend. I'm finishing up my tarot class, doing some deep cleaning in preparation for Samhain and catching up on homework from my wedding planning class. I will need a lot of strength, both physical and psychological stamina, to make it through the yuck. Wish me luck!

Carnelian Chronicles

2009-10-21T08:46:00.001-05:00

Several of you asked why I decided to change the name of my blog from "Jupiter's Corner" to "Carnelian Chronicles". The main reason behind this is that Jupiter's Corner was always a working title. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to name my blog so I have been using this title in the mean time. I've just been waiting for a good title, one that fit. Carnelian Chronicles just hit me last night and I knew it was what I'd been waiting for. Carnelian is my favorite stone because it helps with courage, sexual energy, verbal skill, peace; it also alleviates jealousy, apathy, fear and rage. In most of my personal jewelry I use carnelian.

A chronicle is typically defined as an account of facts and events ranged in chronological order. The purpose is to record events as seen from the prospective of the chronicler. I will definitely be straying from chronological order in this blog but I think otherwise it's a fitting name. I'm recording my Pagan journey. Everything that happens to transform my path. So here I am. This is my story.

Queen of Wands

2009-10-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

I have been intensely studying tarot for the past few weeks. I feel like I'm learning a lot about myself and my deck. The cards I'm least familiar with are the court cards. I never really get a good feel for these cards. I have to rely more on my books to help me interpret these cards and even then, I tend to be feeling a little lost. In the tarot class I'm taking over at The Firefly Academy, we're creating a tarot journal. I've been intentionally using the court cards in my tarot studies so that I can become more familiar with them. An exercise I've really enjoyed is relating the court cards to people you know.

I think the Queen of Wands is like my mother. According to Juliet Sharman-Burke, the black cat at her feet denotes her role as "queen of hearth and home". She successfully runs a home and family but still has the time to pursue her own interests. My mother is a talented musician. She plays piano, guitar, french horn, drums and can pick up just about any instrument and play decently. She's also a song writer. She spends much of her free time in the "band room" where my family keeps all their instruments and recording equipment. She encourages my siblings to pursue music and teaches them in her free time. But she wants them to be well rounded and spends all her weekends carting them back and forth to soccer games. She cooks most nights. Her house is always clean. She is a successful physician's assistant, focusing on cardio. She works for a prestigious heart institute and assists in cardiac surgeries. She makes more money than my father but never makes him feel inferior or emasculated. Sharman-Burke says the Queen of Wands is a well-liked friend who is reliable but once crossed, she fights like a lioness. In the card, the Queen sits on a throne adorned with lions and a banner of lions behind her. She holds a sunflower in one hand, a wand in another. She is proud, beautiful, happy. My mother and everything I strive to be.

Who is the Queen of Wands in your life?

Awesome Octoberfarm Giveaway

2009-10-20T13:01:00.000-05:00

There is one heck of a giveaway over on Octoberfarm. She's giving away a basket of items put together from her Fall trip. Her items come from New York, Massachusetts and Maine! How fun is that! And the best part: most of her items are EDIBLE!

Blog Title Change

2009-10-20T03:08:00.001-05:00

Hello everyone, I just wanted to let you all know that later today I will be changing the name of my blog to Carnelian Chronicles. You will still get my posts in your reading list, they will just appear under a new blog title. As you can see I've already made the necessary changes over here, just giving everyone a head's up for the title change so you don't wonder where the heck my blog went. If you have my button, please update it with the new one. Also, while we're on the subject of buttons, if you have my button on your blog but I don't have yours, PLEASE inform me! I'd love to share :)

Haste Makes Waste

2009-10-19T09:58:00.000-05:00

So, as usual, I carve my pumpkins too early and they end up all shriveled way before the holiday. I just get way too excited! I look at it as an excuse to buy more :) Yesterday we visited a pumpkin path with a corn maze and I was a little disappointed. More than half of the pumpkins were already rotted and the "maze" consisted of a very straightforward two mile path that we paid four extra dollars to walk. But I'd never done anything like it before and I got a few neat pictures so that is a plus. Also, we got to support a local farm so I'm all about it. Below are some pictures from our trip.

Pumpkin Guts

2009-10-15T17:55:00.000-05:00

As promised, I am going to discuss what you can do with your pumpkin innards if you hate the idea of just throwing it all away. Of course, the best part of that stringy gooey mess is the seeds! I love pumpkin seeds all year round but this time of year affords me the opportunity to roast my own.

To roast pumpkin seeds, you first need to seperate them from the sloppy mess. This isn't altogether difficult, just a bit of a pain because the seeds are so slippery. After you've done the best you can, put them in a bowl with warm water. At this point, all you need to do is remove the tiny bits of pumpkin. This is best done by rubbing the seeds between your hands over and over. Below you can see that the seeds are pretty much clean and the other pumpkin bits are no longer attached.

At this point you just need to strain them, then repeat the process a few times until they are as clean as you can get them. Then let them sit in the strainer for at least half an hour to drain as much as possible.

Now comes the fun part: deciding what to roast them in! I chose to roast mine in butter and garlic salt but this is entirely up to you. As far as how much to use, season to taste. I just partially melted a big glop of butter, added some garlic salt and added it all to the seeds. I say partially melted because it will stick to the seeds better if it's still a bit thick. Preheat your oven to 300. Lay your seeds out in a thin layer on a baking sheet then roast! It can take anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes to fully roast the seeds. I suggest checking on them every five minutes and stirring. Once they are golden brown they should be good to go. I've noticed that if the shells are easy to remove from the seed, they're probably cooked just right. The seeds are a little chewier if they aren't quiet done.

So after you roast your seeds, you've still got that orange stringy mess. If you're like me you don't want to waste any of your glorious pumpkins. I've been saving up all my pumpkin guts and this weekend I'm going to take a little nature trip. There's a nice open field near a wooded area a few minutes from my house where I've seen deer hang out before. I plan on taking my pumpkin bits out to this area and leaving it to the wildlife. I have no idea if deer like pumpkin but I know raccoons will eat anything! Why not leave a little offering to the wildlife before the Winter cold sets in? Or... you could always get creative with it like this picture below. Too funny right?

Fall Fun

2009-10-15T10:52:00.000-05:00

Check out these awesome Fall ideas from Farmer's Almanac! I'm a subscriber so I'm always getting neat stuff like this in my inbox. I love it :)

Summer is over, and in many places the air is turning colder. As the weather changes be sure to take advantage of what the fall season has to offer. Even if you don't live in a place that sees a lot colorful leaves, there are fun family-friendly ways to get outdoors this fall:

• Go apple picking. Sure, most of us can get apples year-round from the grocery store, but there’s nothing quite like orchard fresh apples, picked straight from the tree during harvest season. That crunchy, tangy, sweet apple flavor is at its peak during this time of year. Many commercial orchards will let you pick your own. It’s not only fun, it’s also a great way to show kids where their food comes from. Get extras for canning applesauce, or making pies. When you’re done, warm up with a delicious mulled cider.

• Go on a nature hike. Bring along a field guide to identify different kinds of trees. Look for wildlife collecting food for winter. Explain to kids how animals are starting to fatten up and grow thick, protective winter coats. Watch for migrating birds.

• Collect fall leaves. Press them into books or preserve them in glycerin (recipe below*). Paste them onto handmade paper to create greeting cards, or glue them between two pieces of wax paper to make an attractive sun catcher. Go lightly on the glue, or substitute crayon shavings to add color; use a warm iron to melt the shavings and hold the paper together.

• Take a hayride. Many farms offer hayrides during the fall. This is a great way to kick back and enjoy nature with smaller kids who may not be up for a long walk.

• Visit the pumpkin patch. Don’t buy your Halloween pumpkin from the grocery store. Go straight to the source. Kids will love wandering around the patch to pick out the perfect pumpkin. Choose a couple of big ones for jack-o-lanterns, and grab a few smaller ones for painting or general household
decorations. Smaller pumpkins make great additions to fall centerpieces
. Roast the seeds in your oven with a sprinkling of tasty spices, and grab a few to make pumpkin pies.

• Visit a corn maze. Many farms earn extra income for the winter by turning their cornfields into large mazes. Test your directional sense, and get some fresh air in the process. Corn mazes are fun or all ages.

• Stuff a scarecrow. Dig out an old shirt and overalls, and stuff it with leaves until firm. Add a pumpkin head (from your trip to the pumpkin patch) and you’ve got a great fall decoration.

• Fly a kite. The gusty, brisk air makes autumn a great time for flying kites. Buy one from the store, or make your own from two long sticks, strong paper, and string.

• Have a bonfire. Invite some friends over for a backyard bonfire. The chill in the air makes fall the perfect time to sit together by the warmth of a blazing fire with a nice warm mug of cocoa or cider. Be sure to get any necessary permits from your town first.

• Make a leaf pile and jump in!

*Bring a mixture of two parts water to one part glycerin to a boil in a saucepan, and pour the solution into a heat-safe container. Drop in the leaves, and gently submerge them with a wooden spoon. Place the container in a cool, dark place for up to seven days. Remove the leaves when you begin to notice a slight change in their coloring, and blot them dry with a paper towel.

Pumpkin Carving Fun!

2009-10-15T00:31:00.000-05:00

One of the most popular Samhain activities is pumpkin carving. According to Edain McCoy it originated as a practice at least two thousand years ago in Ireland. The Irish would carve faces into turnips to frighten away evil spirits. The practice of putting candles in the jack -o'-lanterns also has a purpose: to light the way for friendly spirits.

Today I ran to WalMart to grab some pumpkins and other Halloween supplies. I really wanted to go to a pumpkin patch but neither my brother nor my husband see it as being worth getting out in this weather. It's been misting for days and it's SO stinking cold! Please, please warm up again before Winter sets in!

Tonight I carved this dragon and set him up on a tv stand with the other gourds I bought a few weeks ago. They will go out on the front porch with the other pumpkins when they're done and hopefully a bale of hay, if I can find one.

This is my messy pumpkin innards. I plan on roasting the seeds for a delicious treat. Don't like to throw out all the extra pumpkin bits when you're done carving? Tomorrow I'll post about what to do with all of it.

Here is my favorite! A cat looking at the full moon. Have you started carving pumpkins yet? What is your favorite thing to carve?

Deities Part 2

2009-10-14T10:12:00.001-05:00

I'd like to continue on my discussion of deities with some thoughts on Hecate.

Hecate is my moon goddess. She is wise and mysterious. She is also the face of my crone goddess. She is the protector of women and was called upon to ease the pains of labor. She also comforted the elderly in their death and would even accompany them to the afterlife. She is truly a wise woman, knowledgeable of all life's stages. She is the goddess of crossroads, particularly junctions where three road converge, or "Y" intersections. She is known as the goddess of three faces and is said to be able to see in all directions at once, including the past, present and future. She is often seen accompanied by her sacred dogs. Other animals sacred to her include horses and snakes. She is known to always carry a torch. She is widely known for telling Demeter of her daughter Persephone's kidnapping by Hades, king of the underworld. Once the fate of Persephone was decided, she became a prominent figure in Persephone's life and because of this, Hades gave her the key to the underworld, where she was always welcome.

P.S. The picture is taken from a random place on the internet, it is not mine.

Blog Awards

2009-10-13T20:54:00.000-05:00

There has been a bit of buzz in Blogland about the giving and receiving of awards. I'm sure you've all read plenty about how people feel about them so I'll only touch on my own thoughts briefly: I appreciate all the awards I receive and I'm not against handing out awards that are relevant. I don't always post about the awards I receive, especially those that aren't relevant. So what do I mean about relevant? Well, since we are a Pagan community, I think our awards should be about something Pagan. In the future, I will not be handing out blog "chain awards". I think awards should be something you create yourself, bestow on someone you feel truly deserves it, the end. Not something that is passed around from one person to the next.

If you agree, I challenge you to come up with your own awards. Create your own buttons for the award. Write your criteria for the award in advance, THEN decide who fits into that criteria. Bestow the awards and don't expect those people to hand out the awards to everyone else they know. If they believe someone is deserving of an award, they'll create their own to hand out. I think blog awards are really nice, WHEN they mean something. WHEN they are relevant. WHEN they are sincere. I'm going to start this practice by offering my own award.

In the coming weeks I'll be looking out for a blogger who truly captures the Samhain spirit. Bella over at Wanderings of a Wondering Mind made a great point about Samhain. All over Blogland there are giveaways and blog parties, etc, etc... but is that really what Samhain is about? I'll be on the look out for someone who embraces what Samhain means and bestow this award on them. The rules: you CAN'T pass this award on. You CAN create your own Samhain (or any other) award and give it away to others. Let's make awards a little more meaningful!

Tarot Tidbits

2009-10-13T17:43:00.000-05:00

Today I had my brother shuffle my Rider-Waite cards and pull one. He pulled the IX of Pentacles. In this card a woman stands in a flourishing vineyard with a bird perched on her hand. In the background stands a manor house, denoting material wealth. The bird is a falcon and it represents control of thoughts, likely because it is a creature of the air and air is often associated with the mind and intellect. The woman is well dressed and the pentacles seem to be growing in the garden, all things indicating success in finances.

My brother just got back from Iraq and he made a lot of money while he was there. While you're in a war zone you make combat pay, plus he was getting separation and family pay because he was married (he's recently divorced). On top of that, he re-enlisted and got a nice $9,000 bonus, tax free. Because of all that, he's been able to buy pretty much everything he wants. My dad gives him a hard time for spending so much money but hey, I say if you spend a year fighting every day for your life, and the lives of others, you earn the right to spend your money any damn way you please. Plus he spent a fair share of that money on other people, he is not stingy. Anyway, I digress (I have the habit of defending everything my brother does because he is my hero).

The IX of Pentacles is a good card for him. Not only does it indicate his financial successes and all the material things he has been able to surround himself with, it also indicates that he is alone in his success. Being recently divorced, he can't share his status with anyone else. That's not necessarily a bad thing and it doesn't indicate he has no relationships, only that he doesn't have a significant other at this point. But hey, sometimes that's good for you! My brother needs to learn how to be alone and happy. Wealth doesn't always indicate happiness but in some cases it doesn't hurt :)

I've recently enrolled in an online tarot course. It's a very basic class and I've been studying tarot for a while but I am in no way an expert. It's an eight week course and the assignments include building a tarot journal. I've been working on one for a while but I think this will encourage me to keep up with it and focus more on studying individual cards. If you read cards, how long have you been doing readings? How did you learn: from a friend or family member, reading books, taking classes or did you do it completely on your own?

Nature Journaling

2009-10-11T15:14:00.000-05:00

The past couple of weeks have been out of this world busy. I've had to make the drive to Oklahoma or back three times, with a fourth tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to settling down to life again. Living out of suitcases is getting old.

On a fish tank update, two fry survived and have grown into juvenile fishies. The tank's levels are all good now and there has been a huge spurt of growth from the plants. Algae is growing like crazy as well. All in all, the tank is in much better condition and we're just watching juniors grow up into adult fish. I'll have to take pictures soon, they're so stinkin' cute.

Some of you might remember that I've been working on my own Wheel of the Year myth. I haven't really been satisfied with my own version of things, let alone any other I've read. I decided to take on a year of "nature journaling" to connect with the seasons in my area. I'm trying to learn about the crops in my area, what they are, when they're planted and harvested. I'm even journaling about storms and weather patterns. I'm also hoping that connecting with my area will give me a little more incentive to get out and enjoy the outdoors again. I've been holed up in my house for far too long, using my dislike for Kansas as an excuse. No more! And what a silly time to decide to change, right before it gets cold again! But it would also be good for me to connect with the Winter, which is the most difficult time of year for me. Seasonal depression, be gone! I am tired of being constricted.

One beautiful thing I've discovered since starting this process is sorghum. It's strange how little I knew about sorghum, considering its many uses. According to Wikipedia, sorghum is used for feeding both animals and humans, creating alcoholic beverages and even biofuels. Its stalks are also used to create Kirei board which is used in the construction of walls, cabinets, furniture and sometimes floors. Interestingly enough, it can also be toxic to animals. Some species of the plant contain levels of cyanide! But driving back and forth from Oklahoma affords me the option to see all the beautiful sorghum fields. The picture above shows its beautiful russet color, which is what it looks like this time of year. I've also seen a few fields in which the plants still have a lot of greens and yellows, with hints of the deeper color it will change to soon.

How do you connect with the seasons and your local environment?

Deviant Moon Tarot

2009-10-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

Yesterday while I was still in Oklahoma I purchased the Deviant Moon Tarot deck at Barnes and Noble (I don't have a B&N within an hour's distance of me). I've been spying this deck for a while. Several months ago my husband and I had our cards read at my favorite witchy shop. The woman offered us a variety of decks and I chose Tarot of the White Cat. Nice and fluffy and warm and fun :) But to my creeped out dismay, my husband chose the Deviant Moon Tarot. I'm not going to lie, I was a little put off that he chose this deck. It kind of gives me the heebie jeebies. And he also thinks it's creepy, but that's why he likes it. Weirdo.

But it really got me thinking. Why does it creep me out so much? Why am I so uncomfortable with it? With my Rider-Waite deck there are a few cards that I don't like very much (they don't creep me out, for sure) and I find that those cards often have a message for me. Maybe the Deviant Moon has a message for me. The side of the box says the cards "illuminate the darker side of the psyche and reveals the depths of human consciousness." Well, I bought them and I'm ready for whatever message they may have. Here we go :)

Do you have a deck that is slightly disturbing or creepy? Do you find that you get different readings with these cards than others? What do the cards mean to you? Do you feel your readings are accurate?

Beautiful October

2009-10-03T00:52:00.000-05:00

This is my favorite time of year. The Fall air is so clean and crisp. It gets me moving and feeling good. I love the colors of this season. Outside, everything is all yellow and orange right now. Still tons of beautiful green and I'm anxious to watch it turn. The leaves are welcome on my front step. My bonsai is flourishing now the oppressive summer heat is past.

I spent the day cleaning in anticipation of my family coming up for my brother's homecoming (his arrival time keeps getting pushed back--grr!) and I was more upbeat about it than ever before. My home is beautiful. It's not necessarily that we have tons of nice things, or that the house is particularly aesthetically pleasing. We have old furniture, hand-me-downs. Everything is sort of mismatched and not in the cutesy way. We have a big stupid arcade machine in our living room. But it is our home, our first home together, and it's beautiful because it's ours. Every time I clean my home, I'm pouring some of my energy into it. I've only recently started consciously practicing domestic witchcraft and today, I really saw the results. I am as much this home as it is me now. For as crummy as I've been feeling lately, today really lifted my spirits.

It seems like several of the people I follow here in Bloggerland have been feeling crummy about things. I blame it on the the season. It is so beautiful and wonderful but it's also a time for introspection. I have been turning inward lately and even though it's been making me feel down, it's probably a good thing. I need to sort things out. At least I have the beautiful surroundings to perk me up. I hope that all of you who have been feeling this way get a bit of relief from it this weekend. If cleaning your house isn't up your alley (when did it start being up my alley? WEIRD!), find some way to spend time outside. The weather is superb, the sights are beautiful. Take a walk. Breath. Be. I'm thinking of you and sending positive energy your way. I know there are several of us who need it.

Homecoming

2009-10-01T23:36:00.003-05:00

After a year of service, my brother Rhett is finally coming back to the states. In approximately 17 hours, I will get to see him :) The above picture is him carrying his 50 cal in Iraq. It looks as tall as him.

Yes, that is Angelina Jolie. And he is the one in the lower right corner, with no head gear. This was taken a few months ago. Jolie had a conference in Jordan but decided to take a quick trip to visit the soldiers. My brother was her personal escort all day.

This is at his re-enlistment. My brother is my hero. He re-enlisted in Iraq for six years.

My brother is my best friend. This is Michael, one of our oldest friends, him and myself. This picture was taken on his rest and relaxation, halfway through his tour in Iraq.

This is a myself, Rhett and his friend and room mate in Iraq. This picture was taken several months before he left. I got to come stay with him for a month. Now, my husband is stationed at the same place and Rhett will be moving in our spare room.

So, I probably won't be on for a while :)

Oh, just a P.S.

This is my brother's windshield. It's far from over.

Lesson Card

2009-09-30T14:54:00.000-05:00

Last night I was feeling really bummed and I wanted to draw a lesson card for myself. I just wanted to know why I was feeling like everything was so horrible all of a sudden, and what I could do about it. I drew the Hermit.

Occasionally in my life I feel the need to just be quiet. I want to be very still for a long time and be quiet. I equate this feeling to the Hermit. Sometimes we need a little solitude. Sometimes we need time to reflect. Over the past few months, things have been slowly building up in my life. With every thing that comes up, I deal with it pretty fantastically and then I set it aside and move on to the next hurtle life throws at me. The problem is that I'm dealing with it superficially. My closest friends have been commenting on how strong I am, on how amazing it is that I'm still standing. I don't think I've been allowing myself to feel anything for a while. I do what needs to be done, then I move on. I don't take time to think about it, to grieve about it, to rant and rave and feel like crap about it. I felt like I was being mature about it. I thought this was the best approach but I'm starting to think all those things didn't really just roll off like water on a duck's back. Maybe I'm still carrying all of it inside and the pressure is starting to really build. I think some "me time" is in order. Maybe some "cry in the shower" time. How I'm going to find it with everything happening, we'll just have to see.

Grimoire

2009-09-28T21:18:00.000-05:00

I've been spending a lot of time updating my grimoire. I'm trying to bulk it up a little bit and organize it in a better manner. I've talked before about using OneNote as my grimoire so that it is easily edited and it is fantastic! If you have OneNote on your computer but don't know what to use it for, go read that post!

Anyway, since I've been reading "Sabbats" by Edain McCoy I've been thinking about that section in my notebook. I read the entire book and underlined so much information. Now I need to go back and start organizing the bits I like into my grimoire. I'm still not satisfied with my Wheel of the Year myth. I always viewed the esbats as celebrating the goddess while the sabbats celebrated the god. But it seems to me that the sabbats focus on the goddess just as much, if not more than, the god. It feels too unbalanced for me. Why can't the esbats focus on the god as well? Can the moon shine without the sun? What do you think?

I'm also planning a Halloween party with my good friend. She is not Pagan but she's been very accepting of my spirtuality. She's actually a nice little mix of Jewish, Morman and Hispanic heritage. Anyway, we're going to have a party with some Halloween/Samhain/Day of the Dead influences and I'm super excited! I'm trying to decide what I should be for Halloween. Decisions, decisions! How will you be celebrating Samhain?

Mildred B. Cooper Memorial Chapel

2009-09-27T23:04:00.000-05:00

A lot of you commented about the beauty of the chapel I posted pictures of and I decided to share a bit about this particular building.

First of all, this chapel is nestled in the forest of beautiful Bella Vista, Arkansas. I've spent many years living in Bella Vista at different points in my life. I never cease to be amazed at how incredible this little town is. It was originally started as a recreational retirement community. To this day, the majority (I'd say about 65%) of the residents of Bella Vista are retired. It's a fairly mountainous region (I say mountainous but it's more like large hills) and there are seven lakes in this one little town --yes, some are man-made but after so many years, you cannot tell one bit. The residents pay an "association fee" that goes into the upkeep of the lakes, forests and golf courses. Yes, I said courseS... there are seven! John Cooper founded this little gem and his wife, Mildred, was very active in the community and was known for her love of nature and her deep sprituality.

The chapel itself was commissioned by Mildred's family and was designed by local architect Euine Fay Jones. Jones was an apprentice of Frank Llyod Wright (another AMAZING architect, who I greatly admire). Like Wright, Jones had a love for "organic architecture", the act of designing to fit the environment. I think the Mildred B. Cooper Memorial chapel is a perfect example of organic architecture.

Here are some pictures of the path leading toward the chapel.

Here are some more of the chapel itself.

And a nice little stone with a plaque dedicating the chapel to Mildred B. Cooper.

Pictures

2009-09-25T22:07:00.001-05:00

Here are some pictures of a neat looking church near where I grew up. I've just always though it looked interesting.

Here is the chapel in which my biological mother married her second husband. They're divorced now but I have always been drawn to this building. The second picture is something I found in the concrete on the path towards the church in the woods. I'm assuming it's the year it was built.

More to come late :)

Pictures and Sailor Moon

2009-09-25T16:49:00.001-05:00

I have spent a lot of time on our trip to Arkansas taking pictures. I drove around for about three hours yesterday, visiting the places that were important to me when I was a child. I moved around a lot when I was a kid but Northwest Arkansas had a big impact on my life. I took tons of pictures of a few of the places I spent growing up. I will share them with you when Blogger decides to stop being a piece of crap.

I have a confession to make. When I was around 12 years old, I was obsessed with Sailor Moon. I loved that show. It started my still enduring appreciation for anime and although I've moved on to a little more "grown up" shows, Sailor Moon will always be in my heart. So what have I been doing in my down time? Going back and watching all the episodes. Yes, yes... I'm a dork. But as crazy as it sounds, Sailor Moon actually had an impact on my spirituality. A huge one. It gave me my first taste of the zodiac, gemstones and the elements. When I was younger I imagined a religion in which these things were central and I even designed temples and other places of worship based around them. I added them to my obsession with Greek mythology and thought I made up my own religion. What crazy things we think as children.

And for another confession, I am also obsessed with Cowboy Bebop, Full Metal Alchemist and yeah... Dragonball Z. When I was younger I ran my own Dragonball Z RPG. I had my own website for it and everything. Enough confessions for one day :)

Who was my favorite Sailor Moon character you might ask? Why Sailor Jupiter, of course! The real question now is, was Sailor Jupiter my favorite because I've always liked Jupiter, or do I like Jupiter because Sailor Jupiter was my favorite? Oh my...

Wheel of the Year Myth

2009-09-24T01:30:00.000-05:00

From my understanding, there is a widely accepted mythos regarding the life phases of the God and Goddess during the Wheel of the Year. Many of you know the traditional story so I won't expound on it here but I wanted to discuss my issues with it, offer my own and ask how you view the cycle.

First of all, I equate God with the sun and I have a hard time wrapping my head around the God dying when the sun continues to rise and set every day. I understand it's symbolic of the fewer hours the sun is in the sky but I just don't like that part. I prefer to view it as his soul leaving the sun, thereby causing it to shine with less vibrancy. Where his soul goes, I don't know what I think of that. Secondly, while I realize this is again symbolic, I don't like the idea of the Goddess birthing the God. I prefer to view it as her birthing his soul back into the sun. When his soul leaves the sun at Samhain, as her gift of life leaves the earth at the last harvest, it is reabsorbed into her womb and she prepares to birth the reincarnated soul into the sun at Yule. She is in her crone stage from Samhain and through Yule, while she is mourning her missed lover. At the end of the dark night, she births his soul into the sun. From Yule to Imbolc, she is recovering while he also grows stronger. As the suns vibrancy returns, the Goddess becomes the maiden again at Imbolc as she awaits their marriage.

There is some debate as to when the God and Goddess are reunited. I like to think that at Ostara he impregnates her with the bounty of the earth because in the area of the world I live, this is the average time to begin planting. She is still in her maidenhood, preparing herself for the phase of the mother. Ostara is a time of balance. Instead of the dark god giving to the light god, I prefer to view it as the Goddess giving to the God, making way for him to return in all his excellence. She gives herself, which matures him. At Beltane, the God and Goddess celebrate life and bless the earth to prepare it for the bounty of the Goddess. They are young and vibrant here, the Goddess transitions to the mother.

At Litha, the sun is at his peak. He reigns in full regalia with the heavily pregnant Goddess at his side. Lammas starts the harvest, the bountiful gifts of the Goddess mother. I view the God as transitioned from the young warrior/hunter to more of a provider figure. With the Goddess, he has provided the bounty of the harvest. At Mabon, the God realizes their gift to the earth is waning and a blessing will be required again but his soul is aging. During this time the Goddess is in full mother mode. The harvest continues and the light gives into the dark. The God becomes more introspective, the sun begins to fade.

At Samhain, the God's aged soul leaves the sun so that it can be reborn again and the cycle starts anew. Where does his soul go? Does it go to the underworld? Does he rest there so that he may once again become the young God who will bless the earth with the Goddess at their union? Do you have your own story regarding the Wheel of the Year or do you prefer to stick to the widely accepted myth?

50 Followers!

2009-09-22T16:34:00.000-05:00

Yay! I reached 50 followers! How exciting :) Blogger must be having problems though because every time I click the link to find my latest follower, it only shows a blank box. Grr!

BUT, I decided to finally give in to the giveaway madness--WHEN I reach 100 followers. I will be making some nifty gifties (whoever gets that reference is automatically entered haha) and I will host a giveaway once I hit my 100th follower :) Thanks to everyone for following, you all are really fantastic!

AGAIN!

2009-09-21T00:12:00.001-05:00

I will be heading out of town tomorrow morning, bright and early. Today my husband's father had a heart attack. He seems to be okay, he went into surgery earlier today and is recovering in the ICU. My husband got to go on emergency leave so we will be gone for the week. However, I should have internet access while I'm there. If not, I will return in a week or so! In the mean time, happy Mabon! Everyone enjoy your celebrating and please let me know how it goes since my original festivities will have to be skipped out on this year.

Fur Baby Friday

2009-09-18T06:57:00.003-05:00

Yay! Finally another Fur Baby Friday post! Just a short one, without a lot of explanation, of some funny pictures of Molyester!

I caught her mid yawn.

After about 50 pictures, she appears to be saying, "Mom, please no more."

Totem Animals

2009-09-18T01:52:00.000-05:00

I couldn't be happier right now: the new season of The Office aired tonight! Yay! I won't give away any spoilers to fans who may have missed it but AHH! So freaking hilarious!

I've been devouring "Sabbats" by Edain McCoy. What a fantastic book. I have learned so much. Did you know that Fantasia's take on Night on Bald Mountain is how the Catholic church used to portray Halloween? They wanted people to believe that evil spirits roamed the night and it was only safe once the church bells rang at dawn. How funny! And oh my goodness, researching this rekindled my old love for Fantasia. I'm a dork :)

Have any of you ever worked with totem animals? I have been interested in them since childhood but only recently starting researching. I've only read two methods for totem animal meditation, one by the fabulous Meganne of I'm Not a Wiccan and another from a witchcraft course. I've used the meditation from the witchcraft course with a YouTube drumming video going in the background and had fabulous results. I've tried before, just imagining drumming, with no results. With real drumming though, it made all the difference. Basically you visualize going down a hole or a dark path until you come to a cave. The better your visualization skills, the better results.

I started my visualization around a large fire. I was dancing around it with lots of animals. I tried to feel the fire warming the part of my body facing it, feel the cool air against the other half. Eventually I spot a hole in the side of a hill. It's not very big, only just big enough to crawl inside, but once inside I can stand and walk freely. I imagined how it felt going down the hole, with tendrils of roots brushing against my skin and the soft, slightly damp earth between my bare toes. I tried to feel the earth crumbling away from the walls when I ran my hand across it. When I turn around I can see the firelit entrance but I keep walking the opposite direction. After a while I can see another hole, leading to a large gray room. I enter the cave and feel the smooth rock walls. I look at the cave drawings. I wait for my animal.

It's important not to expect a specific animal. Just wait, without thinking of any kind of animal, spending your energy visualizing the cave around you, how it feels. After a few minutes of exploring the cave, my animal came to me. I was at first sort of surprised, and elated. But then I remembered how often she visited me as a child and it made complete sense. I'm not ready to share what she is, I would like a little more time with her before I talk about it. Somehow I think it will be a little less magical if I talk about it just yet. I've now completed two successful meditations with her and both were exhilarating. I am not sure if she is my life totem or something else, I don't know much about this whole thing yet. I have always had a very strong connection with another animal and I really expected it to show up. However, I am not disappointed in what I got--I'm exuberant! It was a lovely experience and I can see that she has a lot to teach me.

Do you have a totem animal? In what ways has your relationship with your totem changed your life?

Let Me Clear Something Up

2009-09-17T12:55:00.000-05:00

In my post about Rosh Hashana I seem to have left some things open for misinterpretation. I received a comment about it being disrespectful for me to "pretend" to be a religion and do all the fun things but not the other less exciting parts. I gave an answer to that person and I'd like to share it with everyone, so there is no confusion.

I have to disagree with what you posted on my blog. I do not feel as if I were pretending to be a religion and only doing the fun things.

First, the rabbi knew my husband and I were not Jewish. In fact, 70% of the people who came on Sundays were not Jewish. The reason for this is simple. In basic training, you are not allowed to go anywhere without a "battle buddy". You cannot even attend services alone. When I signed up for Jewish services, I was the only person in my entire company (over 100 people) who signed up. My drill sergeant informed me I would not be allowed to go unless I could get another female to come with me. I eventually found the only real Jewish female in my company and she was happy to find a reason to reconnect with her religion. I attended services every Sunday and on a few occasions, there were special evening services I was not allowed to attend due to training restrictions. On those nights, the group of people who usually attended them (one Jew, and three others of varying faiths including myself) were allowed to hold our own brief services in the field. I never skipped out on these, in fact I typically led them, because I felt a very deep connection to Judaism, and still do. Hence the post. Going to Jewish services was a comfort for me, as well as my other non-Jewish battles who came with, a comfort that the Christian services couldn't provide. The rabbi only wished to educate us about Judaism, invite us in open dialogue and to comfort us in our times of need and basic training is an absolute time of need.

Secondly, when you say I didn't do the "un-fun" parts of Judaism, I'm assuming you mean the part where I said I didn't engage in full fasting. As I stated before, I ate SPARINGLY to honor their beliefs. Everyone attending Yom Kippur was encouraged by both the rabbi and the drill sergeants to eat instead of fast. Imagine working an 18 hour day and not eating at all. Not just working, but doing hard physical labor. It is extremely dangerous and not recommended. For every meal I only ate one side item and a small portion of meat, as opposed to my regular four or five side items with one or two full servings of meat.

I hope this has cleared everything up.

To further clear this up, I would like to say that my husband graduated basic training three weeks before I did. I also got sick and had to stay an extra three weeks. For those six Sundays, even though my husband and other friends would not be there, I continued to attend services. I never lied to anyone and told them I was Jewish. My drill sergeant didn't ask anyone who attended if we were really Jewish, and it is an extremely common occurrence in basic training to attend services of a religion to which you do not belong. In fact, one Sunday 35 people out of my company attended Muslim services because they were serving donuts. You can bet your sweet butt that 35 out of 100 people were not Muslim. But if a basic training soldier is given the opportunity to eat sweets, when for nine weeks they are allowed none, more often than not they will go for it. My drill sergeant probably knew that there were not six Jewish females in his company but he is not allowed to ask or tell us we can't go because he doesn't think we are. He assumed myself and the other female I regularly went with were actually Jewish because we were the only ones that had been going since the first day, before we knew they served juice and cookies. But the "minority" religions often served things the Christian services did not in order to bring people so that they might educate them. Most of our problems with intolerance and prejudice stem from ignorance.

I probably didn't need to post all of this because most everyone else didn't seem to have a problem with it BUT I do not ever want to be confused as a person who would disrespect a religion. I have the highest amount of respect for Judaism, which is why I informed a mostly Pagan audience of Rosh Hashana.

Pantheon and Deities Part 1

2009-09-16T21:53:00.003-05:00

It is no secret that I use the Greek pantheon in my practice. Since my childhood I have adored Greek mythology. I would study myths and the gods, goddesses and heroes attached to them for hours. My father has a fantastic set of encyclopedias, which he encouraged me to read by offering me $5 for every report I wrote, and it was brimming with mythological information. He also encouraged me to use the internet as a resource. "You can find anything here," he told me. So of course I used it to research anything and everything about Greek mythology. I like to think that part of the reason I am so drawn to anything Greek is that my mother was pregnant with me while she was stationed there. My brother and I used to play a game in which we were different gods and goddesses (he was usually Ares, I was usually Athena) and we'd run around doing what we did best, which was typically wreaking havoc.

I've always had a particular liking for Athena. To me, she was the best of both worlds, beautiful and strong. I loved the story of her being born into this world. When Metis became pregnant, Zeus was concerned she would bear him a boy child who would be stronger than he. He swallowed the pregnant woman while she was making a robe and helmet for her child. But the hammering of the helmet caused him headaches and skilled Hephaestus split his father's skull open. From it sprang Athena, fully dressed in the robe and helmet her mother made for her. She gave the olive tree to Athens, her patron city, and her attribute is the owl. Her companion is the goddess of victory, Nike. She is the goddess of wisdom, warfare, peace, handicrafts and reason. I don't often use her in my practice but I used her in my craft name (Jupiter Athena Greenmoone) so that I might strive to exhibit her traits daily.

Hestia is my domestic deity and I've already posted about her here.

Helios is my sun god. He was known to drive the chariot of the sun across the sky with his four horses, Pyrios, Aethon, Phlegon and Aeos. A well known story involving Helios is that of his son Phaeton, who lost control of the chariot when he attempted to drive it without his fathers permission, setting the earth on fire. In the Odyssey, Oddyseus and his men land on an island sacred to the sun god, where he keeps his sacred red cattle of the sun. The keepers of the island, Helios' daughters, witness Oddyseus' men slaughter and eat several of the cattle. After they tell him, Helios appeals to Zeus who destroys the ships and kills all the men, except Odysseus.

More to come later :) What pantheon do you use?

P.S. These pictures are taken from random places on the internet, they are not mine.

September 19th is Rosh Hashana

2009-09-16T12:59:00.000-05:00

This Saturday is Rosh Hashana! Rosh Hashana is Jewish New Year. September 19th brings in the year 5770 on the Jewish calender. So why, you might ask, am I talking about Rosh Hashana? Because I have a huge spot in my heart for Jews.

Before I went to basic training I was talking to my friend who was former Army. I told him that my husband and I were going to basic training at the same place, around the same time. He told me that if we wanted to see each other, we could go to services on Sunday but that there were so many Christian services on post, there'd be no way to guarantee we got to go to the same one. "Pretend you're a Jew," he said. So my hubs and I went to Jewish services and got to see each other every Sunday (Jewish services are typically held on Friday but in basic training they have to hold every religion's services on Sunday) and even though males had to sit on one side and females on the other, we got to talk for a few minutes after services.

Because my drill sergeant actually thought I was Jewish, he would get special permission for me to go to the high holidays, or high holy days, which include Rosh Hashana. My husband also got to attend these events. The rabbi would hold a special service in the evenings, while everyone else was doing PT or cleaning the barracks, and bring tons of delicious food and even a bit of wine. Another high holiday is Yom Kippur, or Day of Atonement. Jews fast throughout the day of Yom Kippur and the rabbi held a special service to break the fast. I ate sparingly to honor their beliefs since I was taking part in them (fasting is extremely difficult during basic training). If I believed in the Judeo-Christian god, I would definitely be Jewish.

It is typical for Jews to celebrate Rosh Hashana by eating apples and honey to bring in a sweet year. One of my close friends is Jewish, although non-practicing, but the culture is important to her. I'm going to put together a little Rosh Hashana package for her. If there's a special Jew in your life, consider gifting them with apples and honey. It will mean a lot to them that you considered their beliefs and acknowledged their high holy day.

Updates

2009-09-16T00:36:00.001-05:00

So... all my fish are dead, excluding the fry :( I'm so bummed! I don't know what happened, I've never experienced this before and I've been taking care of fish since I was a small child. I'm doing my best to keep the fry alive and well, hopefully they will survive. The lady at the local pet store said I should know better than to buy fish at WalMart. Jerk.

Oh my goodness, Fall is in the air! Today was an incredibly beautiful day. I drove around with the windows down. I walked to the convenience store to get some fresh air. I listened to the sounds of my neighborhood. I love Fall! I went to WalMart tonight and found mini pumpkins and gourds for 50 cents a piece!

I also found some great straw brooms at Dollar Tree! I bought two of them tonight but I think I might stock up and keep the extra in the closet for when I need them. I'm going to hang one on my front door and the other in my altar room.

I've been going pretty nuts with my camera. I've taken more pictures of my animals than I care to admit. I hope to take it out this week and get some pictures of things outside my home. But I have some nice material for Fur Baby Friday! How are you all doing? What's going on in your lives?

My Creed

2009-09-16T00:03:00.002-05:00

One of the first things I considered when building my own tradition was my creed. I didn't want to write down a lot of rules to follow so I decided on a creed instead. Some of the inspiration for my creed came from "Grimoire for the Green Witch" by Ann Moura. I also drew from the Five Precepts as written by the Venerable Thich Nhat Hanh, a famous Buddhist author. Here is my creed.

As a Witch, I acknowledge the God and Goddess, who together make the Spirit, which is immanent in all things. I acknowledge my connection to all things because the Spirit also resides in me. I acknowledge the Elements, Earth, Air, Fire, and Water, which are both extensions and integral parts of the Spirit, to reside in me. I acknowledge that my body is a sacred vessel and to treat it as such is to honor the God and Goddess.

As a Witch, I vow to embrace everything, even that which is different, but does not harm, with perfect love and perfect trust. I vow to take care of the Earth for it is blessed by the God and Goddess. I vow to let others live their lives by their choosing without judgment. I vow to be true to my love always. I vow to not use the Craft to make a profit or to harm others. I vow to know, to dare, to will, to be silent and lastly, to go.

As a Witch, I strive to see through eyes that are wise, feel through a heart that is compassionate, drink through lips that speak of kindness, hear through ears without prejudice and to live in oneness with the Earth. I strive to learn all that I can of the Craft and use my knowledge in a manner conducive to a happy life.

As a Witch, I am aware that where I cast a stone, ripples are created. I am aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, sexual misconduct, unmindful speech, the inability to listen to others, unmindful consumption and violence. I am aware that condoning such acts is as harmful to my karma as committing them. I am aware that I can make a difference.

As a Witch, I will live by the Wiccan Rede: an it harm none, do what ye will.

Do you have a creed?

Building My Own Tradition

2009-09-14T22:01:00.000-05:00

I mentioned in my last post that I was fortunate enough to procure several Pagan books on my vacation. The first one I started reading was "Living Wicca: A Further Guide for the Solitary Practitioner" by Scott Cunningham. This book follows Cunningham's "Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner", which is a beginners look at Wicca (I wouldn't necessarily consider myself Wiccan, but a lot of the information I get does come from Cunningham's Wiccan books because they are really fantastic and informative.) "Living Wicca" delves deeper into the practice of witchcraft for solitaires. It has a lot of ideas for prayers, chants and rites. It also has a section on building your own tradition. I particularly enjoyed this part because I am a solitary eclectic Pagan and as such, I often find it difficult to find rituals, creeds, belief systems, etc. that are meaningful to me. I don't always feel like I have a strong foundation for my practice. One of the things he suggests is taking seven pieces of paper and on each, writing down your thoughts and beliefs on a certain topic, those topics being:
Deity Concepts
Tools, Altars, Dress, Jewelry
Rituals
Beliefs
Rules
Symbols and Runes
The Book of Shadows

I've started this process and will be sharing some of my thoughts with you but first I'd like to know how you describe your practice. Do you follow your own tradition, or do/did you belong to a coven whose tradition you follow? Have you written your tradition down, do you follow it closely or do you just go with the flow?

First Buddhist Army Chaplain!

2009-09-14T14:16:00.000-05:00

Buddhist chaplain is Army first

For everyone who followed the Wiccan chaplain controversy, and failure, this is a real success story. As a former soldier and Buddhist, I am so proud of the military for taking a step in the right direction. Someday, our military will have Wiccan/Pagan representatives. There is no other military in the world that offers a chaplaincy that caters to all religions. It is the goal of every chaplain to be able to provide guidance to every soldier, regardless of faith or doctrine and for that, I hope everyone is proud of the military. It is not perfect but speaking as a soldier, I can tell you that there are enough people in the Army, and other services I'm sure, that care about the well-being of soldiers, eventually our dream of Wiccan chaplains will become a reality!

Says Thomas Dyer, first ever Buddhist chaplain: "If I have a Church of Christ or more conservative soldier, he certainly does not need to know about dharma or things like that," he said. "But if he is in pain, or his child back home is sick, I need to be compassionate and help him through that moment. We both need to forget at that moment that I am a Buddhist."

I'm Back!

2009-09-13T23:14:00.001-05:00

Woo! Finally, I'm home! I'm sorry I just ran off without warning, I assumed I'd have internet where I was so I figured I'd be able to update. I just spent the last two weeks in North Carolina visiting my best friend who recently got back from Iraq. She bought her first house (at 20!) and we spent the two weeks catching up, hanging out and shopping for household goods. While I was gone I got to spend a lot of time thinking about my spirituality and in which direction I wanted to go. I bought a notebook and wrote down a lot of ideas. I was also able to buy TONS of Pagan books thanks to a very generous Barnes and Noble gift card. Shopping at B&N was like a dream because I don't have one within an hours drive of my house. Here is a list of the books I got:
-Cunningham's Encyclopedia of Wicca in the Kitchen by Scott Cunningham
-A Kitchen Witch's Cookbook by Patricia Telesco
-Earth, Air, Fire and Water: More Techniques of Natural Magic by Scott Cunningham
-The Magical Household: Spells and Rituals for the Home by Scott Cunningham and David Harrington
-Living Wicca: A Further Guide for the Solitary Practitioner by Scott Cunningham
-Spell Crafts: Creating Magical Objects by Scott Cunningham and David Harrington
-A Year of Ritual: Sabbats and Esbats for Solitaries and Covens by Sandra Kynes
-Sabbats: A Witch's Approach to Living the Old Ways by Edain McCoy
-Digital SLR Handbook by Rob Sheppard

You might be saying, "Why Jupiter, that last title isn't a Pagan book". Yes, dear reader, you are correct. My incredible husband, whom I love dearly, remembered that I've been pining for a decent used Canon Rebel and he bought me one while I was out of town!!! This is the best gift ever! I've already taken about a hundred pictures and the difference between it and my crappy point and shoot is absolutely astronomical. I wanted a used one because I want to get familiar with it before I invest any good money. He found a great deal on eBay and had it waiting for me in the car when he picked me up from the airport (as well as a bouquet of flowers! I can say that I am one lucky gal). I will post pictures soon :)

Also, since I'll be unpacking and cleaning house tomorrow--as I previously stated, I do love my husband dearly, but leaving him alone for two whole weeks was just about the worst idea I ever had... My house is a wreck--I'll be postponing Moon Magic Monday another week (sorry ladies!) But that way I'll have time to start organizing the house and blog again, get back into the swing of every day life and hopefully get some homework done. But this week you can definitely look forward to reading a bit about the tradition I am building for myself and I hope you'll be willing to share your own thoughts.

Thanks to everyone who suggested a nursery for my baby fishies. Unfortunately I left town the day after the fry were born so I wasn't able to purchase one for the tank and soon after Thetis passed (still bummed about that!). I've spotted at least two fry and the husband says he's seen up to four. They're about the length of a piece of aquarium gravel and VERY fast. And I think it's absolutely hilarious that their eyes appear to be fully developed and way out of proportion to their bodies.

Alright I'm signing off for the night so I can start some laundry and do a bit of witchy research. I'm so glad to be back and I'll be catching up on your blogs all week!

Sorry Sorry!

2009-09-11T15:01:00.002-05:00

I'm still on vacation, still very few opportunities for internet access. I really miss everyone's posts and I promise it won't be long 'til I get back into the swing of things. I get home Sunday so I expect to have a Moon Magic Monday post up first thing next week! I hope you're all having a great day :)

Oh and while I was gone, Thetis, momma fish, passed away :( Bummer! But the husband found more baby fish (fry) and has been trying to keep track of them. He updates me every day on their well being--he's so funny. They're getting bigger and I can only hope that by time I get back, there will still be a few!

Hiatus

2009-09-01T20:40:00.001-05:00

Hey everyone! I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to your comments yet. I'm on vacation right now and I had figured on having regular internet access. But I don't! So when I get the chance, I'll respond to all your lovely comments and I'll catch up on reading your blogs :) I miss you all as much as I miss my fish (the hubby provides me daily updates, tons of babies!) Lots of love and blessings.

Moon Magic Monday

2009-08-31T10:18:00.000-05:00

Welcome to session three of Moon Magic Monday! I am so pleased this conversation has been well received and thanks to all of you ladies who have kindly responded. A quick recap: last week we talked about natural measures for dealing with the pain associated with menstruation and reusable cloth pads. The week prior I spoke about some of my experiences and opened the floor for other women to share.

We haven't talked much about the hows and whys of moon time being so special. For any of you who have information, experience or thoughts regarding the spirituality of moon time, please e-mail me! In the future I'd like to spotlight some women's stories, share their experience and how their spirituality is shaped by their menstrual cycle. I also have a great post from a man's perspective about moon time! Eventually I'll also talk about the use of menstrual blood in your practice, but for now I'd like to take a bit of time and share a story, and forgive me because it's long, sad and in some places graphic.

As I discussed in my first post, my periods started to get better towards the end of high school. I started to view my menstruation simply as a part of life, rather than a nuisance. This past January, shortly after I started this blog, I found out I was pregnant. In fact, this post was written the day I found out, several hours before. My husband had just come home from Iraq in December and in that first week he was back, I conceived. When I found out, I was eight weeks along. I was out of town, I had driven for six hours and I was really tired. But on my drive I started to think about how late my period was. I never kept track of these things and I thought I was a week or two late (not a whole month!) I figured I'd just stop by WalMart and grab a pregnancy test so I'd feel better. I was in a hotel room, alone, when my test read pregnant. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Briefly: I was out of town because at the time I was in the Army Reserve and I had to drive to my unit, which is six hours away from where we currently live.

All of a sudden, everything made sense to me. I had been lethargic, sleeping for eight to ten hours during the day. I was so congested I couldn't breath at night. I was sick in the mornings. My breasts had grown a cup size overnight and were extremely tender. I cried everywhere, all the time. I had to pee every hour, even at night.

I had to call my husband and tell him the horrible news. The first thing we decided was that we weren't going to have an abortion, but that we were certainly going to adopt out. This was something we didn't want. We couldn't handle it.

The next morning I had to inform my platoon sergeant. I wasn't allowed to do PT with everyone else. The reality of what my pregnancy meant started to kick in. My unit was going to deploy in three months. I was now non-deployable. I wasn't going to Iraq. I then found out that I could get out of the Army. Over that weekend, I started doing research on pregnancy. I started to think about what was happening in my body. When you consider what has to happen in order to get pregnant, it is nothing short of miraculous. When I got home late that Sunday night and woke up my husband, he said the four words that changed my life: "We should keep her." In three short days, the worst thing that had ever happened to me became the best.

I embraced everything about my changing body. I talked to my developing fetus. We tentatively chose the name Jullia Ellen. We told everyone, and I really mean everyone. I was exploding with happiness. As my first trimester came to and end, we bought a beautiful pack and play. It was becoming real to me. I decided I didn't want to be a mother and be a part of the military so I got out.

Then I started spotting. My mother assured me she had also spotted in the beginning and as long as it was light pink and not bright red, I should be fine. But after a week of light pink spotting, my doctor told me to go to the emergency room. I thought it was ridiculous. I felt fine. I was actually excited because I knew in the ER they'd give me an ultrasound, something my doctor had refused to do. I was going to see my baby!

After waiting for three hours, I finally complained. We were then seen immediately and I was given all sorts of tests, then even more waiting. During the ultrasound, my husband was asked to step out. I strained to try to see the screen but all I could see was something that looked like a bubble. After more waiting, a doctor came in and told us the news. I wasn't going to have a baby. I had a blighted ovum, or empty sac. The egg implanted, the placenta started growing, my pregnancy seemed normal in every way except there was no baby. A baby never developed in the placenta. In a way, it's a false pregnancy. You will miscarry, the doctor told me. I had an appointment with my gynecologist to decide whether I'd have a D&C or pass the tissue naturally. I opted to wait another week to see if I could pass naturally. On the day I would've been twelve weeks pregnant, I passed my mucus plug. Within minutes I was losing more blood than I thought my body could hold. It ruined my favorite pair of khaki pants. Although I wasn't in any pain, I knew I had to go to the ER.

When we got there, the pain started. It was a dull ache in my crotch. I was ushered back immediately. Over the next fifteen minutes, the pain sky rocketed. I had never been in so much pain my entire life. It would come in waves. I would be fine for a few minutes, then I'd start getting what I thought contractions must feel like. Then they'd go away for a few minutes. But as more time passed, they become more frequent and more intense. I was hysterical. My husband had to watch them pull tissue out of my vagina. It was by far the worst thing I've ever gone through. We were there for five or six hours before I could finally leave. After that, I bled for six weeks. For days, I wept. My husband was allowed to stay home from work to be with me. I was numb for a while after that, and then I was angry.

Because of this experience, I started to hate my periods. For many months they reminded me that I wasn't pregnant, that I wasn't going to have a baby. They were a lot heavier than before and much more painful. Because of this, I've had a hard time associating my periods with my spirituality. How could something so awful be linked to what I love? But after the months went by and my period became bearable once more, I realized it had all happened for a reason. I learned a lot about myself, about my husband, about my body. My marriage is stronger today than ever. It also served to get me out of the military, which I was starting to realize wasn't really my life. And in my situation, the miscarriage didn't mean that I would have problems in the future. It did mean that my body recognized a defect in my egg that would've caused my child to have a serious condition, probably one that wouldn't have been conducive to life. It's the body's way of saving that child from probably living a very painful, very short life. Everything happens for a reason.

As I come to terms with what happened to me, I'm starting to see my body in a much more sacred way. I can create life. I can cradle growing life in my body. I can have two souls in me at once. I can also survive the worst physical and emotional pain imaginable. Because of this, I have a much deeper respect for my moon time.

OMGOMGOMG!!!

2009-08-29T16:06:00.000-05:00

Thetis had babies! When we bought her, I jokingly said she was pregnant but I really thought she was just fat. No, she had babies!!! I'm pretty worried about them though because live bearers will eat their young if they don't have places to hide. Our plants have only just begun to sprout so we don't have very many places for them to hide. We've only seen two of them, and they are itty bitty. When my husband said "Is that a baby fish?" I thought he was just being silly (he's been obsessed with the tank since we set it up, he never had a tank so everything seems to amaze him). But there was a tiny baby! And we found another one, buried under rocks on the side of the tank (how the hubs spotted it, gods only know) and he freed it. We looked it up and they're supposed to have between 40 and 50 babies so either there are more hiding in the rocks or almost all of them had already been eaten by time we woke up this morning. But oh my god! We have babies!

Of course it would happen the day before I'm to leave town for two weeks. I just hope I have at least one little guy when I get home.

Fur Baby Friday

2009-08-28T10:55:00.001-05:00

For this week's Fur Baby edition I'm spotlighting George! Please forgive the quality of these pictures, they were all taken on my phone.

A few years ago I took home my sister's tortoise shell kitty, Cheeseface. Cheese was a tiny little thing and no one could've guessed she was pregnant, or so my mother claims. But when my mom walked into her closet one day after work, there was Cheese with a litter of tiny baby kitties. When they were old enough to be moved, Cheese and the babes came home with me. She had four dark kittens and George. I named him after George Washington.

As you can see, George is not a tiny cat. In fact, he weighs 14 pounds. How a tiny thing like Cheese could mother George is beyond me but something tells me George's dad must've been a great, big, orange tom cat.

This is George, Google-ing information about how to get rid of dogs.

George is my snuggle bunny. While the Mr. was in Iraq, George and I shared a tiny apartment. He was my lifeline. I had never lived alone before and thanks be to the gods for giving me George to keep me company, otherwise I probably would've lost it altogether.

Wait a minute, that orange cat isn't George!

Tarot

2009-08-27T02:06:00.002-05:00

A quick update on the goings on of my life. I got to pick up Molly today, yay! She is just as hyper, just as cute and annoying as ever. I guess I assumed she'd be "under the weather" for a while. Nope, not Molly. We did give her the pain meds when we got home, which I thought (and yes, kind of hoped) would make her a bit drowsy. No such luck. About three minutes after we gave it to her, her eyes got a bit droopy, she layed down and looked exhausted. Sike! She was up a few minutes later, chasing Frank around. As of right now, she is fitfully resting on the chair. We'll see if she sleeps much today.

Oh, and George opened the lid to my fish tank!!! I don't know whether he put his grimy little paw in or not but before I went to get Molly I fed the fish and securely closed the lid because he was watching every move I made. When I got home, the lid was wide open. I asked the hubs if he was responsible and he said no, definitely not. George was sitting right in front of the tank, watching the fish, as he has been doing since I brought them home. I had better not come home to a dead or missing fish. Stinker. And for those of you interested, I am definitely going with Thetis (red fish), Glaucus (yellow fish) and Triton (polka dot fish) for their names.

Even though I have a million other things I want to post over here (thanks to prompts from Pagan Blog Prompts and Mrs. B), I am going to take some time to talk about Tarot. Of all the forms of divination, Tarot is the only one that speaks to me. I've had a connection with Tarot since early childhood. My mother used to go get her cards read by a little old lady who lived in the small town I grew up in. I still remember her house, and the sign on her front door that said "No smoking, oxygen is use". I used to think it was just a clever joke but now that I'm older, I realize it was because she used oxygen tanks, something I didn't understand as a child. She had an at-home nurse. She passed away a long time ago, but when I go back to that tiny town, I still go past her house.

My mother owned a Rider-Waite deck that she kept in her underwear drawer. As any curious child can tell you, anything in mom's drawers is fair game. Knowing how special they were to her, I used to sneak them out and look at all the pictures. I was particularly drawn to certain cards, over and over. Strength, The Lovers, The Devil, The High Priestess and the entire suit of swords, but particularly Two of Swords. I grew up with these images in my head.For several years I wanted to buy my own deck but I never allowed myself to because I didn't know how to read them. While in military training, I finally had the extra cash to spend on something "frivolous" so I bought a Rider-Waite deck at Barnes and Noble. However, one of the cards (my favorite card, Strength) was lost--long story--so I had to buy another deck. When I bought my second deck, I also bought The Complete Idiots Guide to Tarot. Although informative, I really didn't connect with my cards any more than before. I could do basic readings and I found that the information was accurate with the situation. I just didn't feel like I was doing anything special, I was simply reading from a book. Several months later I bought The Complete Book of Tarot: A Step-by-Step Guide to Reading the Cards by Juliet Sharman-Burke. This book completely changed how I looked at the cards. The cards have common archaic symbols but can be read differently depending on how they're laid out. There is no one "right" way to read. It's all interpretive. Now, my cards are definitely mine.

I keep my cards in this wooden Tarot box with the Om symbol carved into it. It was the first thing I ever bought at the witchy store in my home town, before I knew what a Pagan was. As I've discussed before, I studied Buddhist philosophy and still apply it to my life. When I first bought this box I kept some herbs, oils, stones and incense in it. It's hard to imagine that at one point, this little box held all the tools of my early craft. After all this time, the box still holds the smells of all the things I kept in it, and my cards now smell that way, too.

My cards are wrapped in this purple pentacle cloth. I have so much more to say about Tarot but I think this post is long enough. I'll write some more later. What form of divination are you most drawn to? If you practice Tarot, what deck do you use? Do you feel a special connection to the images? What card are you most drawn to? Where do you keep your cards?

Fishy Fun

2009-08-26T19:01:00.000-05:00

Today I checked the water in my aquarium and was very happy to find that everything was at the right level! So I ran to WalMart and spent about half an hour looking at the fish. I had planned on getting the same combination of fish as last time but I was inexplicably drawn to the platys. They are so bright, without looking fake or dyed, and they're also known for having lots of babies, which I think would be a ton of fun. I bought three of them in different colors so I could easily distinguish them.

I am trying to decide on names for them. I'm thinking of using names of Greek aquatic deities, particularly the Nereids. Amphitrite, Thetis and Galatea are sticking out to me. These three are women but I don't know about the sex of my fishies just yet.

Above is fish number one, checking out his/her reflection.

Fish number two is a pretty orange-red color. Thetis is the mother of Achilles, one of my favorite Greek heroes. Have you seen the movie Troy? Thetis is played by Julie Christie, one of my absolute favorite actresses (who also played in Doctor Zhivago and Harry Potter as Madame Rosmerta). Obviously who played Thetis in a movie has nothing to do with her as a mythical figure, but it's something that has drawn me to reading more about her. I think Thetis would be a nice name for fish number two if he/she is a female.

Fish number three is a nice yellow color, which didn't really show through in the picture but it's very pretty. The black spot by the tail is common in platys and its typically crescent shaped, giving platys the nick name moon fish, which I think is nice. Number three's black spot is iridescent and shines in certain light.

Update: Fishies number one and three are males. In live bearing fish, you can tell their sex by their fin shape. So I'm thinking I'm going to stick with Thetis as fish number two's name.

I really like the story of Glaucus, who consumed a magical herb that turned him into a fish-man hybrid (sometimes told as becoming a merman). Glaucus was said to assist Menelaus on his journey and he also helped the Argonauts. Number three?

Triton is also a name I'm feeling drawn to as he also helped the Argonauts (one of my favorite Greek myths). He is the son of Poseidon and Amphitrite, foster father to Athena and his symbol is the conch shell, which he blew like a trumpet to calm or raise the waves. Maybe fish number one?

Stormy Nights

2009-08-26T10:58:00.000-05:00

Why is it that noises sound louder in the dark? For two hours last night an awesome storm raged outside but the really not-so-awesome part was that it knocked the electricity out for an hour. For some people, those who go to sleep at a decent hour, it wouldn't have affected them. However, I often get busy late at night and I was really irked about being out of a light source for so long and not being ready to sleep. What kept me busy last night? Crafty goodness!

I'm working on a "witch box". That's what I'm calling it for now because I don't actually know what I'm going to do with it when I'm done. Yesterday I went to WalMart to shop for fish tank supplies (more on that below) and the Mr. came with. He insisted we stop by the arts and crafts department because he knows how much I just love that kind of stuff. I've always been drawn to boxes of all types and I love looking at the wooden and paper mache ones they have at Hobby Lobby. So I finally bought one of those paper mache boxes, a medium sized square one. I broke out my crafting supplies and got to work. I think I may end up making two different ones but I'll post more pictures as the project comes along. The picture above is the top of the box. I had a mini grapevine wreath and I interwove bits of dried lavender stalks throughout. I then glued feathers all around. At this point, the inside of the wreath was pretty ugly with floral wire and glue and feather ends so I stuck on that white flower, which I found in a bag of lavender potpourri. That strange purple bit towards the corner is also a piece from the potpourri, I just wanted something to cover that area. I've collected a ton of seashells from the river so I put them to use on all four side of the lid, pictured below. For the actual box part, I'll have to think on it for a while. But it'll probably be other bits and pieces I've picked up.

Last night I also put together my fish tank. I've got all the parts running and I put the gravel in as well as some bulbs for some water plants (that strange large black thing in the picture is a lily bulb; there are around 7 other bulbs in there, just buried). In 48 hours I'll test the water to see if it is balanced. If it is, I'm going to buy a couple of starter fish and get my ecosystem running! Taking care of a fish tank is one of my favorite hobbies. Since childhood, my father has always had a fish tank and he was great about getting all of us kids involved. This is my second fish tank; the first one had to be taken apart when I went to basic training. I am so so so pumped about it. Do any of you take care of fish?

Today: finish the box(es) and make a necklace! Oh, and I took Molly to the vet this morning to get her spayed. Please keep her in your thoughts because I'm really nervous. I'm worried she thinks we've abandoned her :( I get to pick her up tomorrow and I'm really anxious for this all to be over with.

Moon Magic Monday

2009-08-24T09:44:00.000-05:00

As promised, I'm back with some more musings on menstruation. Thanks again to all you ladies who offered up your thoughts regarding your cycle.

While most of you said that it's something you would like to be more in touch with, menstruation is tough to consider magical when you're cramping and in pain. It sounds like the majority of us would be much more willing to treat our menstrual cycles as magical if we weren't so preoccupied with the pain. This got me thinking about ways to deal with cramping, and if you're like me, back aches and pain in your hips as well. Of course there's over the counter medicines like Midol and naproxen, which have always been a great help to me, but in the interest of not putting unnecessary chemicals into my body, I'd like to find some more natural remedies.

I know of a few comfort measures, like heating pads, warm baths and even exercising. Do you have any natural remedies for cramping or other menstrual related pain? I seem to remember reading somewhere that raspberry leaf tea also helps, has anyone else heard of this? Maybe I'm thinking labor pains...

Another thing I read recently is that using reusable pads made of flannel can help alleviate some of the pain because it keeps your vagina "warm and cozy" as one site put it. While trying to do some Google-ing on this topic, I found this Etsy site called Vulva Love Lovely. This woman makes cloth pads in all sorts of fun fabrics. She sells four of them, in different lengths and thicknesses, for $30.85 and says they last anywhere from 3-7 years. I know that with as many pads and tampons I have to use, I'm wasting cash like nobody's business. The idea of using reusable pads used to give me the heebie jeebies but as I'm getting older I'm starting to look at things a little less selfishly. During and after my period, when I go to dump out my bathroom wastebasket and I see that it is full of personal hygiene products, I cry a little for whatever piece of Earth has to harbor my trash for god knows how many years. Whenever I have a little cash to spare, I'm going to invest in at least one set of these cloth pads to try them out. If it has the potential to help out with the pain and is good for the Earth, what harm can it do?

I read that some of you are already using cloth pads. Where did you get yours and how has it made a difference for you? And for those of you who haven't used them before, would you consider trying them?

Fur Baby Friday

2009-08-21T16:04:00.000-05:00

For today's fur baby edition I'd like to talk about Molly, my beautiful weimaraner doberman mix. We got her from the shelter, and the above picture was taken after we had been approved for her but couldn't take her home yet. I went to visit her every day until we could take her home. She was my 22nd birthday gift because I've wanted a weim for as long as I can remember. You don't often find them at shelters because they usually go to the weimaraner rescue. We started to apply at the rescue but they are really strict and we were automatically disqualified for not having a fenced in back yard, as if that is an indication of how much I'll love my dog. I was really upset so I started to look at the shelter for other dogs. Lo and behold, the night before three weims were brought in! I couldn't believe it, I was so happy. By time I got there, the puppy had already been adopted out, leaving a full grown male and Beany, a six month old female. We were approved that day for Beany, who I immediately renamed Molly (so I could say good golly Miss Molly on a regular basis).

When we first got Molly, we quickly realized how much of a challenge she was going to be. She tore up everything, peed and pooped all over the house, and was an all-around terror. Some days it was so bad, I would lay in bed and cry and try to convince myself to take her back to the shelter. But I would always picture her in those cages I rescued her from and I never managed it. We continued to work with her and for the most part, she has proved to be a fantastic dog. She's very sweet and loving. We've learned to put everything away, out of her reach, otherwise she'll eat it. We learned that the hard way, after she ate a hole in our chair, the entire cord to my vacuum (I don't mean in half, she chewed it into about three hundred pieces, literally) and several of my books and best pairs of shoes. She has mostly stopped peeing in the house but she is a very nervous dog and piddles a lot. We're working on that by never yelling at her and we learned on the internet to not even talk to her when we first come in the house after we've been gone for a while. We let her get used to our presence for a while before we talk to her or pet her. She mainly piddles when she sees me and after I read that she's doing it to show me her loyalty and love for me because I'm her alpha, how could I possibly get mad at her?

Part of the reason we got her was to play with Frank, my husband's boxer, who was starting to get lazy and fat. And do they play! Molly is faster than Frank so she chases him everywhere and it drives him crazy! But he needs it because at three years old, he shouldn't already be spending the majority of his days sleeping. He's in his prime! He needs to be enjoying his life. And Molly will make sure he does for a long time. This is her tuckered out after playing with Frank for hours.

Talk about your fur babies and I'll link you in next week's post!

Welcome to My Corner

2009-08-20T11:58:00.002-05:00

Hello all you beautiful friends! I wanted to take some time to thank you all for following my little blog. When I first started my Pagan blogging adventures I really wasn't sure I'd stick with it. I've had a few other blogs that failed miserably but I've found that here in the Pagan blogging world, everyone is a friend. I love that everyone is so willing to get involved in conversations and I've never met any local Pagans who are nearly as friendly or helpful as you fantastic readers. Again, thank you for your support!

For those of you who are new to Jupiter's Corner, I'd like to take a moment to introduce myself. My name is Jupiter Greenmoone and I'm 22 years old. I'm married to a soldier and he's a really fantastic guy. All my life I've felt drawn to religions outside of Christianity and I was lucky enough to be raised by parents who never pushed anything on me. For the past several years I've considered myself a Buddhist by philosophy but I could never get into it religiously.

One day last November I picked up a vampire book series written by an author from my home town. Although the books were kind of juvenile, I was smitten with them because they were based in my home town and had so many references to the places I spent time growing up. In these books the vampires had their own religion based on a moon goddess. I started to draw connections to their religion and the things I believed in. These books never mentioned the name of this religion but I figured there was no way this author just made something up that was almost exactly what I've believed my entire life. Enter Google search! As I started to research, the term Wicca kept popping up and although I thought what I believed had nothing to do with Wicca, turns out it has just about everything to do with it! For anyone interested, the books I read are the House of Night series by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast (a mother daughter team).

At this point I consider myself to be a solitary eclectic Pagan because I draw from many paths. My main focus lies in domestic witchcraft, candle, herb and crystal magic as well as divination in the form of Tarot. Below my header you can find some links to my favorite blog subjects.

Again, thanks for all the support and a warm welcome to Jupiter's Corner! Merry meet!

Busy Busy!

2009-08-19T22:32:00.002-05:00

I've been pretty busy lately, but the good kind of busy where I feel like I'm actually doing something with myself. I've started a course in wedding and event planning and it's going really well so far. I got it all paid for in grants for being married to a soldier, what could be better than that? I completed lesson 7 tonight and I'm really excited to get done with lessons 8 and 9, the boring stuff, to move on to the fun wedding stuff! For those of you who don't know, I am a complete wedding addict!

Also, I want to touch on something that's been going on in my life that causes me a great deal of stress. My stepbrother was recently arrested for stabbing someone who attacked him and had him in a head lock. He was extremely drunk and under the impression that the person who attacked him was going to choke him to death. In his drunken state he stabbed him a few more times than probably necessary... or a lot more times, if we're going to be honest. However, my brother isn't a bad kid. And by kid, I really mean kid. He's 18 years old. He was serving in the military before all this happened, joined as soon as he turned 17. He's had a lot of problems his entire life, he was going to AA meetings and had been sober for three months before this incident. He's been in jail for several months while the system takes its sweet time. I feel it is necessary to mention the person he stabbed is a known criminal, was the number one person on my town's most wanted list for over a year and is constantly getting into fights. I am his only family here. Two of my brothers and my husband happened to get stationed at the same place and thank the gods for it, too because otherwise, my brother wouldn't have a single soul in this town to look out for him, come to his visitations, put money in his account to ensure he can call home (my other brother is in Iraq until the end of September). Today he plead guilty to attempted manslaughter in the 5th degree and two counts of aggravated assault in the 8th degree. Although I cannot downplay the fact that my brother did stab someone, and unfortunately stabbed him more times than would've been necessary if the other guy really was trying to kill him, I do not think he deserves to go to prison. He needs to go to a treatment facility, have his lifelong issues addressed and learn how to cope with his alcoholism. His next court date will be in October and in the mean time, I'm asking you to keep my family in your thoughts. In my lifetime, although it's not a very long one, I've faced few things harder than seeing one of my baby brothers in an orange jumpsuit with chains around his waist, wearing shoes that are too small for him, plea guilty to the biggest mistake of his life.

And moving on... I wanted to thank all you ladies who replied to my moon magic post. I'm so excited to get this conversation going. I've already got tons of ideas for next Mondays post and I'm really looking forward to hearing more of your thoughts.

Briefly, before I sign off for the night. I've been bringing a little more magic in my day to day life around the house. I've noticed that not only is it helping my spirituality grow but I am feeling more connected to my home. I'm really excited about exploring domestic witchcraft, and thanks to all you wonderful bloggers who have inspired me to bring it out of my ritual room and into my whole household.

Moon Magic Monday

2009-08-17T13:04:00.000-05:00

After reading a post on Crazy Squirrel Lady's blog about moon time (menstruation), I am encouraged to start a discussion open to all you female Pagan bloggers. This will be an on-going discussion (if people get involved, that is) about a woman's special menstruation time. I'd like to know what your thoughts are regarding this ancient form of magic. How do you feel about your periods? Are you interested in making your menstrual cycle more magical? Do you have heavy or irregular periods that make it difficult for you to enjoy this time? Lend us your thoughts! And if you have any information regarding moon magic, please share with us :)

Moon Time
Crazy Squirrel Lady's post
Menstruation and Magic
Myth, Magic and Mystery
Menstruation and Moon Magick: A Rant
Moon Blood Magick and Collection

I'll go ahead and start by posting a few of my thoughts until we can get the conversation going. Moon magic is not an easy subject for me to approach. I have always been comfortable with my body. I've never been uncomfortable with nudity or my sexuality. I'm not the type of girl who is afraid to admit that she enjoys sex. But I've periodically had heavy periods that plague me with wretched cramps. When I first learned about menstruation, I took to it with my 11 year old scientific mind. I was so interested. I couldn't wait to become a woman. But when I got my period a mere three or four months later, I wasn't so excited anymore. My mother thoroughly embarrassed me, bought me horribly awkward HUGE pads that didn't fit in my panties and my periods were always so heavy I ruined several pairs of underwear a month. My periods got a lot better when I started playing basketball in 7th grade. Throughout high school I learned how to handle my period better, I had fewer cramps and far less accidents. But some months I felt like a stuck pig. This past February I had a miscarriage (more on that later) and my periods suddenly become unbearable. My cycles went from three or four days to seven or ten, I cannot go for even an hour without both a tampon and a pad to protect me from leaks and I spend around ten dollars a month on personal hygiene products. On top of all that, I feel as if my intestines are pushing their way out of my vagina. Graphic, but honestly, that is exactly what I feel: a painful downwards pressure. A week ago I asked my doctor to put me on the birth control that gives you only four periods a year.

But all of a sudden, I am finding information about moon magic everywhere. Occasionally this happens and I have learned that it tends to be something I should pay attention to. So here we are. I'd like to start this discussion so I, and hopefully we, can really meditate on our moon time. Maybe I can become more in tune with my moon time and find ways to make it more bearable. I'd like to be in touch with my whole body. Would anyone like to join?

Fur Baby Friday

2009-08-14T09:28:00.000-05:00

Today I'd like to start a new tradition over here on Jupiter's Corner: Fur Baby Friday. Every Friday or so, I'm going to post some pictures of my fur babies and talk about just how much I love them. If you'd like to also take the time on Fridays to talk about your fur babies (or not so furry, if you've got all sorts), comment here and I'll be sure to link your posts :)

This is our newest fur baby, Molly AKA Molifer, Moliver Twist, MOLcat (like LOL cat), Molyster and many many others. She's a brat but we love her to death and isn't she just the cutest thing?

This is the hubby's baby, Frank. I think he rather looks like a goblin. He is known by all of our friends as the "lovable idiot" because he isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. And, it's almost impossible to get a good picture of him because he never stops moving his head.

This is my baby, George (sorry he looks like a demon, my camera sucks). I've had him since he was a baby. In fact, I had his mom since she was a baby, then when she got prego and had this little guy, I made sure he stayed in the family. I named him after George Washington. Enough said.

Hestia

2009-08-13T10:01:00.003-05:00

So after a nice little look around Mrs. B's Domestic Witchcraft section, I decided to do some research on my domestic deity. I use the Greek pantheon in my Craft so I immediately stumbled upon Hestia. Could there be a better domestic deity?

Hestia is goddess of the hearth, home and family life. She is also referred to as the goddess of architecture because homes were built around the hearth, her sacred symbol. Some of her other symbols include the living flame, bowls, veils, the pantry and keys.

Some scents associated with Hestia are angelica, iris, lavender and peony (I keep finding lavender in everything I'm drawn to--coincidence?). The gems associated with her are amethyst and garnet, two of my favorites. Her color correspondences are gold, dark rose, lavender, silver and black.

Below are some links to a pretty interesting site with lots of info on Hestia.
Basic Info
Her Story
Her Symbols

As I continue getting involved with domestic witchcraft I'm going to honor Hestia in my rituals. Do you have a domestic deity? Who do you honor?

Ritual Cleaning

2009-08-12T21:59:00.000-05:00

Thanks to some ideas from Mrs. B and a few books I've been reading, I got started on my deep cleaning ritual.

Monday night I did two loads of laundry. I'm SO behind on laundry. I have about three times as many clothes as I need so I can literally go a month or more without having to wash anything. So I don't even think about it. Not that I do go a month because hubs would probably kill me, but I do go too long. Laundry is my favorite chore, though, so it doesn't bother me doing tons of it. I made a nice little sachet from a muslin bag and lavender, peppermint and lady's mantel. I use it in the dryer and it smells lovely! Lavender is my favorite herb, I can't get enough of it and it doesn't hurt that it helps with love. Peppermint and lady's mantel are also good for love purposes. I figured we could all use a little extra love :)

I did some straightening up in the downstairs rooms, emptied the spare bathroom trash and cleaned the room the girls stayed in. I'll need to vacuum the whole thing and organize my office (eep!) then we'll be done down there.

I also did a load of dishes and straightened up the kitchen. I did the last load last night with the help of the hubs. I wiped down all the counters and appliances, swept the floor and cleaned the back half of the kitchen sink counter. Instead of being against a wall or window sill, the counter just keeps extending past the sink into the dining room. It's frustrating not having anywhere to put things above the sink but oh well. Anyway, that back half of the counter is our junk counter. We always leave our stuff out. Me with my wedding magazines and scrapbooks, him with his tools and other man projects. It drives me nuts! It's NEVER all the way clean. I'll straighten it up but within a day it'll get messy again. Last night, I found a place for everything. It's completely spotless, nothing is on it anymore! Yay! I burned lavender incense in the kitchen while I did all that cleaning.

I've made it a goal to write a chant or spell for every household chore and post it in the appropriate area. I got some ideas from Mrs. B and I'll be looking at other sources for some more inspiration. I'm pumped!

Pagan Frustrations

2009-08-12T09:29:00.002-05:00

Thanks to the blog prompt from Mrs. B!

So what is the most frustrating thing about being a Pagan? Wow! First and foremost, being in the broom closet and not being able to tell my family (for now, anyway). But as I've already blogged about that, I'll talk about a few other things that tend to annoy me.

I hate that as a new, solitary Pagan, I have only found information on books and the internet. Before I discovered Pagan bloggers, I didn't find very many decent websites. A lot of them had crazy information. Or just the absolute basics ("This is a cauldron", ...no shit?) Or they were focusing on something I knew wasn't for me. I found a few books but a) they're WAY too expensive, as are most books these days, b) they're either bone dry boring or "fluffy" and c) again, everyone focuses on their own thing. I needed to find MY own thing. I have contacted some "locals" but unfortunately, we just didn't connect. I guess I'm just too normal for some Pagans, the ones I've met in person anyway, because they tend to think I'm not serious about it if I don't dress and act like them. I always hear that Pagans are just like normal people, blah blah blah, but I only hear about ya'll on the internet.

So I guess that's a good place to pick up on the other thing that annoys me: stereotyping. Yes, every religion has stereotypes. Look at the poor Jews. But for real? The majority of Wiccans I met before I realized I was Pagan were what made me shy away from learning the truth for so long. Yes, I did grow up in the bible belt and had an unfair prejudice but half the problem was that people fed into the stereotypes. I've always been an Earth child, I've always had different religious beliefs than the people in my circle of family and friends. But I didn't try to draw attention to my differences. I didn't necessarily try to hide them, I've just always felt that there is a time and place to discuss things of that nature. At school, in public with strangers, dinner parties with your grandparents, around people who aren't understanding or sympathetic, those are NOT the places. I personally think it's tacky, and sorry if I offend anyone. But I think we'd be a lot better off if people learned there's a time and a place for everything.

What is it that frustrates you?

Starting Fresh

2009-08-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

My sisters are leaving today and as sad as it makes me, I am excited to clean house again. Before the girls came I deep cleaned everything. I am pretty good about keeping things straightened up but spending several hours deep cleaning was really satisfying (afterwards, of course). I'm going to try to make it a monthly ritual! So tomorrow after work, I'm going to get everything straightened up in the kitchen (I find I'm more annoyed when the kitchen is dirty than any other room) and start on the downstairs, where the girls stayed. Then we'll get started on the upstairs, the high traffic area, and I'll be happy! If I can get it done in three days (last month it only took a day but now I work until evening) I'll be happy.

So do you have any ideas of how I can make it magical? I use Swiffer instead of a dirty old mop in a bucket of water so I don't really know how I can make that magical. Dishes? Vacuuming? Bathroom cleaning? How can I make it more ritualistic?

In the Broom Closet?

2009-08-01T01:43:00.000-05:00

So I'm pretty much in the broom closet. When I came to the realization that all the things I believed in were actually a part of something much larger than myself, I knew it was best to keep it a secret. I grew up in the "Bible Belt". I consider myself to be pretty open-minded but when I started researching my beliefs and Wicca kept popping up, my response was to immediately close out of my Google query. I was pretty disappointed. "Whatever I believe in has nothing to do with a bunch of creepy kids who wear black, listen to emo music and pierce their skin with any sharp object lying around just to freak people out." Despite how accepting I thought I was, I grew up in an area of the world where the little exposure we have to anything regarding Wicca is looked at just like that. However, after about three days of fruitless searching, I turned back to Wicca. Boy was I surprised when I found out that what I believe definitely doesn't have anything to do with freak kids and their creepy obsessions, but neither does Wicca. I found out that Wicca is pretty much everything I believe.

The first person I told was the only Wiccan I knew (well, the only one who was open about it, I have my suspicions of other people). This girl I was in military training with, everyone knew she was a Wiccan. We all liked her, though. She was sweet as pie. She cared about everyone, helped everyone out, and didn't get offended when people lightly teased her, and I was definitely guilty of it. Despite how nice she was, I never took her religion seriously. She asked me about the Buddhist books I was reading but I never offered up one question in regards to her spirituality (except the time I asked her if it would make me more powerful if I cut out the heart of my enemy with a quartz...) and of that I am deeply ashamed, not as a Pagan but a friend. I immediately contacted her and told her everything. True to form, she was incredibly nice and welcomed me with open arms.

At this time, my husband was getting ready to come home from Iraq. My collection of Pagan items had already started to grow (before I knew I was a Pagan I was shopping at the local witchy shop, just buying things that interested me, I didn't even know what these items were) and I knew it would best to tell him and my brother-in-law, who was to be our room mate. I didn't want them seeing my stuff while we were moving, or worst yet, in the middle of a ritual, and get the wrong impression. Lucky for me, I couldn't have had two better people to live with in the begining days. They didn't ask many questions, never treated me like I was weird and mostly let me do my studying and ritualizing without any bother. Occasionally my husband likes to joke about me worshipping the devil in my little spiritual room.

A few weeks ago, I was getting my house ready for two of my sisters coming up for a visit. I couldn't decide what I should do with my little room. It's part "office" (I call it my office to sound cool, it's just a desk with a computer and printer) and part spiritual space. I have all my books out, all my herbs in jars on shelves, my altar set up. It's right in between the spare bedroom in which the girls would be staying and the spare bath. After too much thinking about it, time got the best of me and I couldn't do anything with it. So it's very witchy. The girls are still here, they rarely venture into this room but I know they've been in it once or twice. I don't forbid them.

Now my dilemma is if I should come out to them. One is eighteen, but very naive, the other thirteen. Both attend church regularly and talk about praying all the time. So, should I come out to them, and risk them being freaked out, or not and let them make their own assumptions about my room, and still risk them being freaked out. And if I do tell them, I cannot ask them not to tell our parents, that's rather unfair. But I do not think I am ready for my parents to know, if I ever will be. My stepmother, maybe. My dad, not a chance. And I would never tell my stepmother something and ask her to keep it a secret from my father. It is very important for me to have a good relationship with my family. I just remember how upset my father got when I expressed an interest in Buddhism. Then again, my parents have a great capacity for loving me, even after all my screw-ups. Maybe not understanding, but love, will keep this from blowing up in my face. I guess only time will tell.

Mrs. B's 31 Days of Halloween!

2009-07-31T11:44:00.001-05:00

Ooh I'm so excited! I looove Mrs. B's Confessions of a Pagan Soccer Mom blog. What could make it better? Oh yeah, Mrs. B doing a 31 Days of Halloween! Halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. I always felt a connection to it even before I knew I was a Pagan. Hubby and I are even planning our wedding around Halloween. Since we never had a real wedding, we're finally planning one and we are having a huge bash the entire weekend before Halloween in 2011. Couldn't be a better time in my opinion!

If you're also a lover of Halloween you definitely need to tune in to Mrs. B's blog in anticipation of her fantastic series. She'll be giving away great prizes, having guest bloggers and hosting a Haunted Walking Tour of other spooky blogs!

Wow! Time Flies...

2009-07-30T23:31:00.001-05:00

I can't believe it's been so long since I blogged. Well, on here anyway. I've been super busy over on my other blogs. With all the things going on in my life, I haven't been doing well in keeping up with my spiritual life. I've been studying my Tarot cards and reading them for myself whenever I get a chance. They've even inspired me to write a book! But so many things seem to be happening at once. It reminds me of the quote "Life happens when you're busy making other plans". Couldn't be more true for my situation.

I am promising myself to blog more often, making it a goal actually, because it really does help with my solitary learning to take what I've read and have to reform it into my own words. Do any of you have advice on how to stay focused on your spiritual path when life is keeping you busy?

Grimoires and Books of Shadows

2009-01-22T13:25:00.000-06:00

So I want to spend some time talking about Grimoires and Books of Shadows. I've read lots of different interpretations of Grimoires and BOS's and as usual in the Pagan world, I think this is something that you can decide for yourself. To me, a Book of Shadows is your very personal book, sort of like a diary, that chronicles your spiritual journey. A Grimoire is more like a recipe book that you can share with others. In my Book of Shadows I journal thoughts of my spirituality and things that are relevant to my Craft, brainstorm ideas for rituals, write down ingredients for spells and create ceremonies for Sabbats and Esbats. In my Grimoire, I document the exact outline of rituals and spells that work for me, inventory all the items I have for the Craft and keep basic information, such as my personal creed and symbols to remember, easily accessible.

I've read that the Book of Shadows is typically black, and some people have even said that it must be black. Typically the reason for this is that the color black represents secrecy and protection. Personally, I went to Barnes and Noble and found a thick notebook made of recycled materials. On the cover, which is green, in plain type it says "Rethink." The notebook spoke to me because when I bought the journal I really was rethinking about a lot of things in my life. I was rethinking about my spirituality and its similarities to Paganism. Green is my favorite color and who doesn't love something made out of recycled materials?

Because of the nature of my Grimoire, I wanted something that was easily edited. I might want to move whole pages around, or just little sections. I might want to change the title to something. I might decide to change a part of a ceremony, or throw the whole thing out altogether. And there's nothing I hate more than erasing. So my Grimoire is actually a file on my computer. I use the program OneNote. It's part of the Microsoft Office package and it is a life saver. OneNote is set up like a notebook. You can create as many sections and sub-sections as you need. It's easy to copy and paste information from other sources. You can color code your sections. And as you work on your notebook, everything is automatically saved. So if your computer shuts down, everything in OneNote that you've been working on will be there, exactly as it was, when you open it back up. When you exit, it doesn't even prompt you to save your work. If you haven't tried OneNote, check it out. It is the best program I've used for organizing information, I love the notebook format and best of all, it makes editing your Grimoire very easy.

Well I'm going to grab a bite to eat and get on the road. Blessed be everyone, have a great weekend and I hope you enjoy the New Moon ^.-

This is a screen shot of my Grimoire in OneNote. On the left you can choose which notebook is open, on top is the different sections and in each section you can see the sub-sections for the open section on the right hand side.

Magickal Name

2009-01-17T20:54:00.000-06:00

Hello all! Things are going well in my new home, a little less stressful but I'm dealing with all sorts of unique problems associated with living here in lovely Kansas (p.s. if I believed in hell, I might think winter in Kansas is hell on Earth.) Today I visited two local pet shops and was very pleased in the selection and atmosphere of both.

Today I want to talk about magickal names. My magickal name is Jupiter Athena Greenmoone and I created it by meditating on a series of questions that I actually found in The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft by Denise Zimmerman and Katherine Gleason (yes, I know... it's dorky but I am such a nerd for the Complete Idiot's Guides and it has some great, very basic information) and a few I wrote myself.

Questions to consider when creating a Magickal name:

Do you have an affinity for a particular God or Goddess?
Is there a species of animal that is special to you? What qualities does that animal have?
What is your favorite plant? Favorite flower? Favorite tree?
Do you have a favorite myth or legend?
Are you particularly drawn to one of the four Elements? What about other natural substances such as different types of wood, metals, gemstones?
Is there a planet you can associate with?
What is your favorite color or what color best represents you?

After meditating on these questions and making a list of correspondances I felt personally drawn to, I started creating names that felt right to me. I came up with quiete a few but I wanted to use numerology in picking my name so I calculated my own destiny number by using my given name and I came up with 7, which is associated with intellect and inner focus which is very appropriate to my personality. With that in mind I calculated the numbers for the other names I had come up with and one name in particular kept calling to me, Athena Greenmoon. I added an 'e' to the end of the last name so that it would equal 7. I meditated on this name but felt that using Athena might seem disrespectful. I have felt an affinity to Athena since I was a child but she is not my patron Goddess. However, I still felt adding something to my name would be more appropriate so I added Jupiter as a "first" name. I decided to think about it before taking it on as my Craft name but that night I had a dream in which I used the name and I knew it was the one meant for me.

What is your magickal name and how did you choose it? For those looking for a Craft name I have pasted the destiny number calculator out of the Idiot's Guide that I used below. Again, the rights to the calculator and most of the questions go to The Complete Idiot's Guide to Wicca and Witchcraft by Denise Zimmerman and Katherine Gleason.

DESTINY NUMBER CALCULATOR

1	2	3	4	5	6
A	B	C	D	E	F
J	K	L	M	N	O
S	T	U	V	W	X

Destiny numbers and their meanings

Number	Meaning	Archetype
1	Independence	Leader, warrior
2	Harmony	Peacemaker
3	Self-expression	Artist, joy bringer
4	Building	Builder, worker, manager
5	Change	Risk taker, innovator
6	Nurturance	Caregiver, teacher
7	Inner focus	Researcher, seeker
8	Power	Chief, the boss
9	Service	Mystic, healer

Master Numbers

11	Illumination	Spiritual messenger
22	Enterprise	Master builder
33	Healing love	Master of healing

Blessed be!

Changes

2009-01-14T22:58:00.002-06:00

So in the time since I last blogged and now I've moved out of state to be with my husband. We're both military and our obligations have kept us apart since we married. We found a nice house in Junction City, Kansas and his brother made the move with us. It's a lot of changes for me and I won't lie, I've been completely stressed out about it. Everyone says the first year of marriage is the hardest. We're coming up on two years but like I said, this is actually the first time we've lived together since. And not to mention his brother and dog who add a very strong element of stress in themselves. BUT, moving on to something a little more positive...

I performed my first full moon Esbat ritual :) Very exciting! It was a great time because it was actually a day after we moved in and I was at home alone so I could take some time to cleanse and purify our new home. I bought some lovely purple flowers and after I charged them with their purpose (cleansing and protecting my new home) I placed a small bunch in every room. I'll keep them around until the new moon, then return them to the Earth. I already feel more comfortable here.